Verse
B
The holidays were upon us
E
And things were going fine
B
Til the day I heard the doorbell
C# . F#
And a chill ran up my spine
B
I grabbed the wife and children
E
As the postman wheeled it in
B
C# yearly Christmas nightmare
C# . F#
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
B
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
E
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
B
One's enough to get the whole state of
C# . F#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
B
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
E
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
B
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
C# F#
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
B
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
E
At our famiy feast
B
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
C# . F#
Just to keep the family peace
B
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
E
But said it tasted fine
B
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
C# . F#
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
B
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
E
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
B
One's enough to get the whole state of
C# . F#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
B
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
E
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
B
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
C# F#
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
B E
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
B C# . F#
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
B . E
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
B C# F#
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.