Verse
C#
The holidays were upon us
F#
And things were going fine
C#
Til the day I heard the doorbell
D# . G#
And a chill ran up my spine
C#
I grabbed the wife and children
F#
As the postman wheeled it in
C#
D# yearly Christmas nightmare
D# . G#
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
C#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
F#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
C#
One's enough to get the whole state of
D# . G#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
C#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
F#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
C#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
D# G#
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
C#
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
F#
At our famiy feast
C#
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
D# . G#
Just to keep the family peace
C#
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
F#
But said it tasted fine
C#
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
D# . G#
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
C#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
F#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
C#
One's enough to get the whole state of
D# . G#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
C#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
F#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
C#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
D# G#
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
C# F#
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
C# D# . G#
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
C# . F#
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
C# D# G#
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.