Verse
D#
The holidays were upon us
G#
And things were going fine
D#
Til the day I heard the doorbell
F . A#
And a chill ran up my spine
D#
I grabbed the wife and children
G#
As the postman wheeled it in
D#
F yearly Christmas nightmare
F . A#
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
D#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
G#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
D#
One's enough to get the whole state of
F . A#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
D#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
G#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
D#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
F A#
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
D#
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
G#
At our famiy feast
D#
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
F . A#
Just to keep the family peace
D#
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
G#
But said it tasted fine
D#
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
F . A#
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
D#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
G#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
D#
One's enough to get the whole state of
F . A#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
D#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
G#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
D#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
F A#
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
D# G#
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
D# F . A#
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
D# . G#
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
D# F A#
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.