Verse
G#
The holidays were upon us
C#
And things were going fine
G#
Til the day I heard the doorbell
A# . D#
And a chill ran up my spine
G#
I grabbed the wife and children
C#
As the postman wheeled it in
G#
A# yearly Christmas nightmare
A# . D#
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
G#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
C#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
G#
One's enough to get the whole state of
A# . D#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
G#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
C#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
G#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
A# D#
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
G#
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
C#
At our famiy feast
G#
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
A# . D#
Just to keep the family peace
G#
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
C#
But said it tasted fine
G#
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
A# . D#
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
G#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
C#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
G#
One's enough to get the whole state of
A# . D#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
G#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
C#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
G#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
A# D#
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
G# C#
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
G# A# . D#
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
G# . C#
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
G# A# D#
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.