Verse
C
The holidays were upon us
F
And things were going fine
C
Til the day I heard the doorbell
D . G
And a chill ran up my spine
C
I grabbed the wife and children
F
As the postman wheeled it in
C
D yearly Christmas nightmare
D . G
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
C
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
F
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
C
One's enough to get the whole state of
D . G
Kentucky a great big belly ache
C
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
F
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
C
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
D G
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
C
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
F
At our famiy feast
C
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
D . G
Just to keep the family peace
C
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
F
But said it tasted fine
C
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
D . G
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
C
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
F
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
C
One's enough to get the whole state of
D . G
Kentucky a great big belly ache
C
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
F
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
C
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
D G
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
C F
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
C D . G
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
C . F
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
C D G
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.