Verse
F
The holidays were upon us
A#
And things were going fine
F
Til the day I heard the doorbell
G . C
And a chill ran up my spine
F
I grabbed the wife and children
A#
As the postman wheeled it in
F
G yearly Christmas nightmare
G . C
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
F
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
A#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
F
One's enough to get the whole state of
G . C
Kentucky a great big belly ache
F
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
A#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
F
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
G C
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
F
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
A#
At our famiy feast
F
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
G . C
Just to keep the family peace
F
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
A#
But said it tasted fine
F
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
G . C
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
F
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
A#
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
F
One's enough to get the whole state of
G . C
Kentucky a great big belly ache
F
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
A#
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
F
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
G C
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
F A#
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
F G . C
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
F . A#
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
F G C
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.