Verse
D
The holidays were upon us
G
And things were going fine
D
Til the day I heard the doorbell
E . A
And a chill ran up my spine
D
I grabbed the wife and children
G
As the postman wheeled it in
D
E yearly Christmas nightmare
E . A
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
D
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
G
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
D
One's enough to get the whole state of
E . A
Kentucky a great big belly ache
D
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
G
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
D
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
E A
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
D
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
G
At our famiy feast
D
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
E . A
Just to keep the family peace
D
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
G
But said it tasted fine
D
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
E . A
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
D
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
G
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
D
One's enough to get the whole state of
E . A
Kentucky a great big belly ache
D
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
G
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
D
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
E A
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
D G
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
D E . A
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
D . G
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
D E A
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.