Verse
F#
The holidays were upon us
B
And things were going fine
F#
Til the day I heard the doorbell
G# . C#
And a chill ran up my spine
F#
I grabbed the wife and children
B
As the postman wheeled it in
F#
G# yearly Christmas nightmare
G# . C#
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
F#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
B
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
F#
One's enough to get the whole state of
G# . C#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
F#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
B
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
F#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
G# C#
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
F#
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
B
At our famiy feast
F#
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
G# . C#
Just to keep the family peace
F#
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
B
But said it tasted fine
F#
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
G# . C#
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
F#
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
B
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
F#
One's enough to get the whole state of
G# . C#
Kentucky a great big belly ache
F#
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
B
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
F#
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
G# C#
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
F# B
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
F# G# . C#
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
F# . B
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
F# G# C#
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.