Verse
E
The holidays were upon us
A
And things were going fine
E
Til the day I heard the doorbell
F# . B
And a chill ran up my spine
E
I grabbed the wife and children
A
As the postman wheeled it in
E
F# yearly Christmas nightmare
F# . B
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
E
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
A
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
E
One's enough to get the whole state of
F# . B
Kentucky a great big belly ache
E
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
A
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
E
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
F# B
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
E
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
A
At our famiy feast
E
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
F# . B
Just to keep the family peace
E
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
A
But said it tasted fine
E
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
F# . B
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
E
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
A
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
E
One's enough to get the whole state of
F# . B
Kentucky a great big belly ache
E
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
A
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
E
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
F# B
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
E A
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
E F# . B
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
E . A
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
E F# B
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.