Verse
G
The holidays were upon us
C
And things were going fine
G
Til the day I heard the doorbell
A . D
And a chill ran up my spine
G
I grabbed the wife and children
C
As the postman wheeled it in
G
A yearly Christmas nightmare
A . D
Has just come back again
[Chorus]
G
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
C
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
G
One's enough to get the whole state of
A . D
Kentucky a great big belly ache
G
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
C
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
G
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
A D
Grandma's killer fruitcake
[Verse]
G
Now, I had to swallow some marginal fare
C
At our famiy feast
G
I even downed Aunt Possum Pie
A . D
Just to keep the family peace
G
I winced at Wilma's Gizzard Mousse
C
But said it tasted fine
G
But, that lethal weapon Grandma baked
A . D
Is where I drawn the line
[Chorus]
G
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
C
Heavy as a sermon of Preacher Lucky
G
One's enough to get the whole state of
A . D
Kentucky a great big belly ache
G
It was denser than a trove of barnyard turkeys
C
Tougher than a truckload of all beef jerky
G
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
A D
Grandma's killer fruitcakE
[Outro]
G C
It's early Christmas Morning The phone rings us awake
G A . D
It's granma pa she wants to know How'd we like her cake
G . C
Well grandma, I nevcer, Uh we couldn't, It was unbeliveable thats for shure
G A D
What's that you say, Oh no grandma, Puh-leez don't send us more.