B A# C#m F#
My father cut his toe off
B A# C#m F#
In a rotary lawn mower
B F# G#m
And my mother burst a blood vessel
C#m F#
When my younger brother went to jail
B F# G#m
So I told her not to worry
C#m F#
Not to get in such a flurry
B F# G#m
We're just an ordinary family
C#m F# B E B
With the usual calamity
B A# C#m F#
When I was just a virgin lad
B A# C#m F#
My mother faked a suicide
B F# G#m
Because she found the tell-tale sign
C#m F#
Of puberty upon the sheets
B F# G#m
So I told her not to worry
C#m F#
Not to get in such a flurry
B B F# G#m
We're just an ordinary family
C#m F# B E B
With the usual calamity
E F# B E B
We always try to look our best
E F# B E B
We always take care when we dress
E A# G#m B
We always wear clean underwear
E C#m
In case we're in an accident
F# F#
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, true
True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true
B A# C#m F#
When I become a married man
B A# C#m F#
With children of my very own
B F# G#m
Will I lay my inhibitions on
C#m F#
And criticise their sexuality?
B F# G#m
Will I use them to protect respect?
C#m F#
Will I try to own them flesh and bone?
B F# G#m
Or will I be their equal friend
C#m F#
Encouraging their new ideas?
B F# G#m
For the future lies within their hands
C#m F#
And the salvation of all these lands
B F# G#m
Yes, the ordinary family
C#m B F#
Is the only way to set us freeeeee
E F# B F#
Set us free, set us freeeeee
E F# B F#
Set us free, set us freeeeeee
E F# B
Set us free, set us free