C B Dm G
My father cut his toe off
C B Dm G
In a rotary lawn mower
C G Am
And my mother burst a blood vessel
Dm G
When my younger brother went to jail
C G Am
So I told her not to worry
Dm G
Not to get in such a flurry
C G Am
We're just an ordinary family
Dm G C F C
With the usual calamity
C B Dm G
When I was just a virgin lad
C B Dm G
My mother faked a suicide
C G Am
Because she found the tell-tale sign
Dm G
Of puberty upon the sheets
C G Am
So I told her not to worry
Dm G
Not to get in such a flurry
C C G Am
We're just an ordinary family
Dm G C F C
With the usual calamity
F G C F C
We always try to look our best
F G C F C
We always take care when we dress
F B Am C
We always wear clean underwear
F Dm
In case we're in an accident
G G
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, true
True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true
C B Dm G
When I become a married man
C B Dm G
With children of my very own
C G Am
Will I lay my inhibitions on
Dm G
And criticise their sexuality?
C G Am
Will I use them to protect respect?
Dm G
Will I try to own them flesh and bone?
C G Am
Or will I be their equal friend
Dm G
Encouraging their new ideas?
C G Am
For the future lies within their hands
Dm G
And the salvation of all these lands
C G Am
Yes, the ordinary family
Dm C G
Is the only way to set us freeeeee
F G C G
Set us free, set us freeeeee
F G C G
Set us free, set us freeeeeee
F G C
Set us free, set us free