D C# Em A
My father cut his toe off
D C# Em A
In a rotary lawn mower
D A Bm
And my mother burst a blood vessel
Em A
When my younger brother went to jail
D A Bm
So I told her not to worry
Em A
Not to get in such a flurry
D A Bm
We're just an ordinary family
Em A D G D
With the usual calamity
D C# Em A
When I was just a virgin lad
D C# Em A
My mother faked a suicide
D A Bm
Because she found the tell-tale sign
Em A
Of puberty upon the sheets
D A Bm
So I told her not to worry
Em A
Not to get in such a flurry
D D A Bm
We're just an ordinary family
Em A D G D
With the usual calamity
G A D G D
We always try to look our best
G A D G D
We always take care when we dress
G C# Bm D
We always wear clean underwear
G Em
In case we're in an accident
A A
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, true
True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true
D C# Em A
When I become a married man
D C# Em A
With children of my very own
D A Bm
Will I lay my inhibitions on
Em A
And criticise their sexuality?
D A Bm
Will I use them to protect respect?
Em A
Will I try to own them flesh and bone?
D A Bm
Or will I be their equal friend
Em A
Encouraging their new ideas?
D A Bm
For the future lies within their hands
Em A
And the salvation of all these lands
D A Bm
Yes, the ordinary family
Em D A
Is the only way to set us freeeeee
G A D A
Set us free, set us freeeeee
G A D A
Set us free, set us freeeeeee
G A D
Set us free, set us free