A G# Bm E
My father cut his toe off
A G# Bm E
In a rotary lawn mower
A E F#m
And my mother burst a blood vessel
Bm E
When my younger brother went to jail
A E F#m
So I told her not to worry
Bm E
Not to get in such a flurry
A E F#m
We're just an ordinary family
Bm E A D A
With the usual calamity
A G# Bm E
When I was just a virgin lad
A G# Bm E
My mother faked a suicide
A E F#m
Because she found the tell-tale sign
Bm E
Of puberty upon the sheets
A E F#m
So I told her not to worry
Bm E
Not to get in such a flurry
A A E F#m
We're just an ordinary family
Bm E A D A
With the usual calamity
D E A D A
We always try to look our best
D E A D A
We always take care when we dress
D G# F#m A
We always wear clean underwear
D Bm
In case we're in an accident
E E
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, true
True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true
A G# Bm E
When I become a married man
A G# Bm E
With children of my very own
A E F#m
Will I lay my inhibitions on
Bm E
And criticise their sexuality?
A E F#m
Will I use them to protect respect?
Bm E
Will I try to own them flesh and bone?
A E F#m
Or will I be their equal friend
Bm E
Encouraging their new ideas?
A E F#m
For the future lies within their hands
Bm E
And the salvation of all these lands
A E F#m
Yes, the ordinary family
Bm A E
Is the only way to set us freeeeee
D E A E
Set us free, set us freeeeee
D E A E
Set us free, set us freeeeeee
D E A
Set us free, set us free
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