F E Gm C
My father cut his toe off
F E Gm C
In a rotary lawn mower
F C Dm
And my mother burst a blood vessel
Gm C
When my younger brother went to jail
F C Dm
So I told her not to worry
Gm C
Not to get in such a flurry
F C Dm
We're just an ordinary family
Gm C F A# F
With the usual calamity
F E Gm C
When I was just a virgin lad
F E Gm C
My mother faked a suicide
F C Dm
Because she found the tell-tale sign
Gm C
Of puberty upon the sheets
F C Dm
So I told her not to worry
Gm C
Not to get in such a flurry
F F C Dm
We're just an ordinary family
Gm C F A# F
With the usual calamity
A# C F A# F
We always try to look our best
A# C F A# F
We always take care when we dress
A# E Dm F
We always wear clean underwear
A# Gm
In case we're in an accident
C C
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, true
True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true
F E Gm C
When I become a married man
F E Gm C
With children of my very own
F C Dm
Will I lay my inhibitions on
Gm C
And criticise their sexuality?
F C Dm
Will I use them to protect respect?
Gm C
Will I try to own them flesh and bone?
F C Dm
Or will I be their equal friend
Gm C
Encouraging their new ideas?
F C Dm
For the future lies within their hands
Gm C
And the salvation of all these lands
F C Dm
Yes, the ordinary family
Gm F C
Is the only way to set us freeeeee
A# C F C
Set us free, set us freeeeee
A# C F C
Set us free, set us freeeeeee
A# C F
Set us free, set us free