E D# F#m B
My father cut his toe off
E D# F#m B
In a rotary lawn mower
E B C#m
And my mother burst a blood vessel
F#m B
When my younger brother went to jail
E B C#m
So I told her not to worry
F#m B
Not to get in such a flurry
E B C#m
We're just an ordinary family
F#m B E A E
With the usual calamity
E D# F#m B
When I was just a virgin lad
E D# F#m B
My mother faked a suicide
E B C#m
Because she found the tell-tale sign
F#m B
Of puberty upon the sheets
E B C#m
So I told her not to worry
F#m B
Not to get in such a flurry
E E B C#m
We're just an ordinary family
F#m B E A E
With the usual calamity
A B E A E
We always try to look our best
A B E A E
We always take care when we dress
A D# C#m E
We always wear clean underwear
A F#m
In case we're in an accident
B B
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, true
True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true
E D# F#m B
When I become a married man
E D# F#m B
With children of my very own
E B C#m
Will I lay my inhibitions on
F#m B
And criticise their sexuality?
E B C#m
Will I use them to protect respect?
F#m B
Will I try to own them flesh and bone?
E B C#m
Or will I be their equal friend
F#m B
Encouraging their new ideas?
E B C#m
For the future lies within their hands
F#m B
And the salvation of all these lands
E B C#m
Yes, the ordinary family
F#m E B
Is the only way to set us freeeeee
A B E B
Set us free, set us freeeeee
A B E B
Set us free, set us freeeeeee
A B E
Set us free, set us free