F#, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
B G#7
In any great adventure,
C#m7 F#7 B
that you don't want to lose,
G#m7 C#7 F#
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
E B/D# C#m7 F#7 B
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
E B/D#
We won't succeed on Broadway,
C#7 F#
If you don't have any Jews.
B
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 C#m7 F#7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
C#m7 F#7
You my dance and you may sing,
C#m7 F#7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
C#m7
You'll hear no cheers,
F#7
Just lots and lots of boos.
B
Boo.
B7
You mahve have butch men by the score
E
Whom the audience adore,
E/D C#7 F# E/G#
You may even have some animals from zoos,
F#7/A# B B7/D#
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
E G/F
You may have unlevened bread,
B/F# G#dim7 G#
But I tell you, you are dead,
G#7/C C#7 F#7 B
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 F#7/A# B F#
B
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 C#m7 F#7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
C#m7 F#7
Nobody will go, sir,
C#m7 F#7 C#m7 F#7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
C#m7 F#7 B
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
F#7/C#
Put on shows that make men stare,
B7/D# E
With lots of girls in underwear,
C#7 F#
You may even have the finest of reviews.
G#m7 add4 F#/A#
You're doing great!
B B7/D#
The audience won't care, sir,
E G/F
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
C#7 F#7 B
If you don't have any Jews.
B E
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 F#m7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
F#m7 B7
Your knights might be nice boys,
F#m7 B7
But sadly we're all goys,
F#m7 B7 E
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
F#m7
So, despite your pretty lights,
E7/G# A
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
F# Em7(add4) F#7/A# B7 A/C#
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 E E7/G#
You may have dancing mana-mano,
A C/A#
You may bring on a piano,
E/B G#dim7 C#7
But they will not give a damn-o
C#7/F F#7 B7 E
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
G#7 C#7 C#7/F F#7 B7 E Am Em
B7 Em
You may fill your play with gays,
B
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
Em
You may even have some schizas making stews!
Am
You haven't got a clue,
Em
If you don't have a Jew,
F#7 B7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
E
There's a very small percentile,
Am
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
F#7 B
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
E E7/G#
But never mind your swordplay,
A C/A#
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
E/B G#dim7 C#7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
C#7/F F#7 B7 E
If you don't have any Jews!