C#, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
F# D#7
In any great adventure,
G#m7 C#7 F#
that you don't want to lose,
D#m7 G#7 C#
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
B F#/A# G#m7 C#7 F#
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
B F#/A#
We won't succeed on Broadway,
G#7 C#
If you don't have any Jews.
F#
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 G#m7 C#7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
G#m7 C#7
You my dance and you may sing,
G#m7 C#7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
G#m7
You'll hear no cheers,
C#7
Just lots and lots of boos.
F#
Boo.
F#7
You mahve have butch men by the score
B
Whom the audience adore,
B/A G#7 C# B/D#
You may even have some animals from zoos,
C#7/F F# F#7/A#
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
B D/C
You may have unlevened bread,
F#/C# G#dim7 D#
But I tell you, you are dead,
D#7/G G#7 C#7 F#
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 C#7/F F# C#
F#
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 G#m7 C#7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
G#m7 C#7
Nobody will go, sir,
G#m7 C#7 G#m7 C#7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
G#m7 C#7 F#
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
C#7/G#
Put on shows that make men stare,
F#7/A# B
With lots of girls in underwear,
G#7 C#
You may even have the finest of reviews.
D#m7 add4 C#/F
You're doing great!
F# F#7/A#
The audience won't care, sir,
B D/C
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
G#7 C#7 F#
If you don't have any Jews.
F# B
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 C#m7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
C#m7 F#7
Your knights might be nice boys,
C#m7 F#7
But sadly we're all goys,
C#m7 F#7 B
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
C#m7
So, despite your pretty lights,
B7/D# E
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
C# Em7(add4) C#7/F F#7 E/G#
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 B B7/D#
You may have dancing mana-mano,
E G/F
You may bring on a piano,
B/F# G#dim7 G#7
But they will not give a damn-o
G#7/C C#7 F#7 B
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
D#7 G#7 G#7/C C#7 F#7 B Em Bm
F#7 Bm
You may fill your play with gays,
F#
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
Bm
You may even have some schizas making stews!
Em
You haven't got a clue,
Bm
If you don't have a Jew,
C#7 F#7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
B
There's a very small percentile,
Em
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
C#7 F#
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
B B7/D#
But never mind your swordplay,
E G/F
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
B/F# G#dim7 G#7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
G#7/C C#7 F#7 B
If you don't have any Jews!
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