E, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
A F#7
In any great adventure,
Bm7 E7 A
that you don't want to lose,
F#m7 B7 E
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
D A/C# Bm7 E7 A
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
D A/C#
We won't succeed on Broadway,
B7 E
If you don't have any Jews.
A
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 Bm7 E7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
Bm7 E7
You my dance and you may sing,
Bm7 E7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
Bm7
You'll hear no cheers,
E7
Just lots and lots of boos.
A
Boo.
A7
You mahve have butch men by the score
D
Whom the audience adore,
D/C B7 E D/F#
You may even have some animals from zoos,
E7/G# A A7/C#
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
D F/Eb
You may have unlevened bread,
A/E G#dim7 F#
But I tell you, you are dead,
F#7/A# B7 E7 A
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 E7/G# A E
A
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 Bm7 E7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
Bm7 E7
Nobody will go, sir,
Bm7 E7 Bm7 E7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
Bm7 E7 A
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
E7/B
Put on shows that make men stare,
A7/C# D
With lots of girls in underwear,
B7 E
You may even have the finest of reviews.
F#m7 add4 E/G#
You're doing great!
A A7/C#
The audience won't care, sir,
D F/Eb
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
B7 E7 A
If you don't have any Jews.
A D
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 Em7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
Em7 A7
Your knights might be nice boys,
Em7 A7
But sadly we're all goys,
Em7 A7 D
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
Em7
So, despite your pretty lights,
D7/F# G
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
E Em7(add4) E7/G# A7 G/B
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 D D7/F#
You may have dancing mana-mano,
G A#/Ab
You may bring on a piano,
D/A G#dim7 B7
But they will not give a damn-o
B7/D# E7 A7 D
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
F#7 B7 B7/D# E7 A7 D Gm Dm
A7 Dm
You may fill your play with gays,
A
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
Dm
You may even have some schizas making stews!
Gm
You haven't got a clue,
Dm
If you don't have a Jew,
E7 A7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
D
There's a very small percentile,
Gm
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
E7 A
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
D D7/F#
But never mind your swordplay,
G A#/Ab
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
D/A G#dim7 B7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
B7/D# E7 A7 D
If you don't have any Jews!