A#, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
D# C7
In any great adventure,
Fm7 A#7 D#
that you don't want to lose,
Cm7 F7 A#
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
G# D#/G Fm7 A#7 D#
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
G# D#/G
We won't succeed on Broadway,
F7 A#
If you don't have any Jews.
D#
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 Fm7 A#7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
Fm7 A#7
You my dance and you may sing,
Fm7 A#7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
Fm7
You'll hear no cheers,
A#7
Just lots and lots of boos.
D#
Boo.
D#7
You mahve have butch men by the score
G#
Whom the audience adore,
G#/Gb F7 A# G#/C
You may even have some animals from zoos,
A#7/D D# D#7/G
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
G# Cb/A
You may have unlevened bread,
D#/A# G#dim7 C
But I tell you, you are dead,
C7/E F7 A#7 D#
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 A#7/D D# A#
D#
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 Fm7 A#7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
Fm7 A#7
Nobody will go, sir,
Fm7 A#7 Fm7 A#7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
Fm7 A#7 D#
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
A#7/F
Put on shows that make men stare,
D#7/G G#
With lots of girls in underwear,
F7 A#
You may even have the finest of reviews.
Cm7 add4 A#/D
You're doing great!
D# D#7/G
The audience won't care, sir,
G# Cb/A
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
F7 A#7 D#
If you don't have any Jews.
D# G#
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 A#m7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
A#m7 D#7
Your knights might be nice boys,
A#m7 D#7
But sadly we're all goys,
A#m7 D#7 G#
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
A#m7
So, despite your pretty lights,
G#7/C C#
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
A# Em7(add4) A#7/D D#7 C#/F
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 G# G#7/C
You may have dancing mana-mano,
C# Fb/D
You may bring on a piano,
G#/D# G#dim7 F7
But they will not give a damn-o
F7/A A#7 D#7 G#
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
C7 F7 F7/A A#7 D#7 G# C#m G#m
D#7 G#m
You may fill your play with gays,
D#
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
G#m
You may even have some schizas making stews!
C#m
You haven't got a clue,
G#m
If you don't have a Jew,
A#7 D#7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
G#
There's a very small percentile,
C#m
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
A#7 D#
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
G# G#7/C
But never mind your swordplay,
C# Fb/D
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
G#/D# G#dim7 F7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
F7/A A#7 D#7 G#
If you don't have any Jews!