G#, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
C# A#7
In any great adventure,
D#m7 G#7 C#
that you don't want to lose,
A#m7 D#7 G#
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
F# C#/F D#m7 G#7 C#
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
F# C#/F
We won't succeed on Broadway,
D#7 G#
If you don't have any Jews.
C#
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 D#m7 G#7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
D#m7 G#7
You my dance and you may sing,
D#m7 G#7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
D#m7
You'll hear no cheers,
G#7
Just lots and lots of boos.
C#
Boo.
C#7
You mahve have butch men by the score
F#
Whom the audience adore,
F#/Fb D#7 G# F#/A#
You may even have some animals from zoos,
G#7/C C# C#7/F
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
F# A/G
You may have unlevened bread,
C#/G# G#dim7 A#
But I tell you, you are dead,
A#7/D D#7 G#7 C#
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 G#7/C C# G#
C#
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 D#m7 G#7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
D#m7 G#7
Nobody will go, sir,
D#m7 G#7 D#m7 G#7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
D#m7 G#7 C#
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
G#7/D#
Put on shows that make men stare,
C#7/F F#
With lots of girls in underwear,
D#7 G#
You may even have the finest of reviews.
A#m7 add4 G#/C
You're doing great!
C# C#7/F
The audience won't care, sir,
F# A/G
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
D#7 G#7 C#
If you don't have any Jews.
C# F#
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 G#m7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
G#m7 C#7
Your knights might be nice boys,
G#m7 C#7
But sadly we're all goys,
G#m7 C#7 F#
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
G#m7
So, despite your pretty lights,
F#7/A# B
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
G# Em7(add4) G#7/C C#7 B/D#
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 F# F#7/A#
You may have dancing mana-mano,
B D/C
You may bring on a piano,
F#/C# G#dim7 D#7
But they will not give a damn-o
D#7/G G#7 C#7 F#
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
A#7 D#7 D#7/G G#7 C#7 F# Bm F#m
C#7 F#m
You may fill your play with gays,
C#
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
F#m
You may even have some schizas making stews!
Bm
You haven't got a clue,
F#m
If you don't have a Jew,
G#7 C#7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
F#
There's a very small percentile,
Bm
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
G#7 C#
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
F# F#7/A#
But never mind your swordplay,
B D/C
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
F#/C# G#dim7 D#7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
D#7/G G#7 C#7 F#
If you don't have any Jews!