B, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
E C#7
In any great adventure,
F#m7 B7 E
that you don't want to lose,
C#m7 F#7 B
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
A E/G# F#m7 B7 E
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
A E/G#
We won't succeed on Broadway,
F#7 B
If you don't have any Jews.
E
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 F#m7 B7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
F#m7 B7
You my dance and you may sing,
F#m7 B7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
F#m7
You'll hear no cheers,
B7
Just lots and lots of boos.
E
Boo.
E7
You mahve have butch men by the score
A
Whom the audience adore,
A/G F#7 B A/C#
You may even have some animals from zoos,
B7/D# E E7/G#
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
A C/A#
You may have unlevened bread,
E/B G#dim7 C#
But I tell you, you are dead,
C#7/F F#7 B7 E
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 B7/D# E B
E
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 F#m7 B7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
F#m7 B7
Nobody will go, sir,
F#m7 B7 F#m7 B7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
F#m7 B7 E
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
B7/F#
Put on shows that make men stare,
E7/G# A
With lots of girls in underwear,
F#7 B
You may even have the finest of reviews.
C#m7 add4 B/D#
You're doing great!
E E7/G#
The audience won't care, sir,
A C/A#
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
F#7 B7 E
If you don't have any Jews.
E A
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 Bm7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
Bm7 E7
Your knights might be nice boys,
Bm7 E7
But sadly we're all goys,
Bm7 E7 A
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
Bm7
So, despite your pretty lights,
A7/C# D
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
B Em7(add4) B7/D# E7 D/F#
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 A A7/C#
You may have dancing mana-mano,
D F/Eb
You may bring on a piano,
A/E G#dim7 F#7
But they will not give a damn-o
F#7/A# B7 E7 A
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
C#7 F#7 F#7/A# B7 E7 A Dm Am
E7 Am
You may fill your play with gays,
E
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
Am
You may even have some schizas making stews!
Dm
You haven't got a clue,
Am
If you don't have a Jew,
B7 E7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
A
There's a very small percentile,
Dm
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
B7 E
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
A A7/C#
But never mind your swordplay,
D F/Eb
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
A/E G#dim7 F#7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
F#7/A# B7 E7 A
If you don't have any Jews!