A, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
D B7
In any great adventure,
Em7 A7 D
that you don't want to lose,
Bm7 E7 A
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
G D/F# Em7 A7 D
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
G D/F#
We won't succeed on Broadway,
E7 A
If you don't have any Jews.
D
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 Em7 A7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
Em7 A7
You my dance and you may sing,
Em7 A7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
Em7
You'll hear no cheers,
A7
Just lots and lots of boos.
D
Boo.
D7
You mahve have butch men by the score
G
Whom the audience adore,
G/F E7 A G/B
You may even have some animals from zoos,
A7/C# D D7/F#
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
G A#/Ab
You may have unlevened bread,
D/A G#dim7 B
But I tell you, you are dead,
B7/D# E7 A7 D
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 A7/C# D A
D
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 Em7 A7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
Em7 A7
Nobody will go, sir,
Em7 A7 Em7 A7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
Em7 A7 D
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
A7/E
Put on shows that make men stare,
D7/F# G
With lots of girls in underwear,
E7 A
You may even have the finest of reviews.
Bm7 add4 A/C#
You're doing great!
D D7/F#
The audience won't care, sir,
G A#/Ab
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
E7 A7 D
If you don't have any Jews.
D G
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 Am7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
Am7 D7
Your knights might be nice boys,
Am7 D7
But sadly we're all goys,
Am7 D7 G
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
Am7
So, despite your pretty lights,
G7/B C
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
A Em7(add4) A7/C# D7 C/E
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 G G7/B
You may have dancing mana-mano,
C Eb/Db
You may bring on a piano,
G/D G#dim7 E7
But they will not give a damn-o
E7/G# A7 D7 G
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
B7 E7 E7/G# A7 D7 G Cm Gm
D7 Gm
You may fill your play with gays,
D
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
Gm
You may even have some schizas making stews!
Cm
You haven't got a clue,
Gm
If you don't have a Jew,
A7 D7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
G
There's a very small percentile,
Cm
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
A7 D
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
G G7/B
But never mind your swordplay,
C Eb/Db
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
G/D G#dim7 E7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
E7/G# A7 D7 G
If you don't have any Jews!