D#, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
G# F7
In any great adventure,
A#m7 D#7 G#
that you don't want to lose,
Fm7 A#7 D#
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
C# G#/C A#m7 D#7 G#
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
C# G#/C
We won't succeed on Broadway,
A#7 D#
If you don't have any Jews.
G#
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
G#dim7 A#m7 D#7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
A#m7 D#7
You my dance and you may sing,
A#m7 D#7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
A#m7
You'll hear no cheers,
D#7
Just lots and lots of boos.
G#
Boo.
G#7
You mahve have butch men by the score
C#
Whom the audience adore,
C#/Cb A#7 D# C#/F
You may even have some animals from zoos,
D#7/G G# G#7/C
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
C# Fb/D
You may have unlevened bread,
G#/D# G#dim7 F
But I tell you, you are dead,
F7/A A#7 D#7 G#
If you don't have any Jews.
G#dim7 D#7/G G# D#
G#
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
G#dim7 A#m7 D#7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
A#m7 D#7
Nobody will go, sir,
A#m7 D#7 A#m7 D#7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
A#m7 D#7 G#
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
D#7/A#
Put on shows that make men stare,
G#7/C C#
With lots of girls in underwear,
A#7 D#
You may even have the finest of reviews.
Fm7 add4 D#/G
You're doing great!
G# G#7/C
The audience won't care, sir,
C# Fb/D
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
A#7 D#7 G#
If you don't have any Jews.
G# C#
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
C#dim7 D#m7 G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
D#m7 G#7
Your knights might be nice boys,
D#m7 G#7
But sadly we're all goys,
D#m7 G#7 C#
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
D#m7
So, despite your pretty lights,
C#7/F F#
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
D# Em7(add4) D#7/G G#7 F#/A#
and the most impressive scenery you use...
Bdim7 C# C#7/F
You may have dancing mana-mano,
F# A/G
You may bring on a piano,
C#/G# G#dim7 A#7
But they will not give a damn-o
A#7/D D#7 G#7 C#
If you don't have any Jews!
Bridge
F7 A#7 A#7/D D#7 G#7 C# F#m C#m
G#7 C#m
You may fill your play with gays,
G#
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
C#m
You may even have some schizas making stews!
F#m
You haven't got a clue,
C#m
If you don't have a Jew,
D#7 G#7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
C#
There's a very small percentile,
F#m
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
D#7 G#
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
C# C#7/F
But never mind your swordplay,
F# A/G
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
C#/G# G#dim7 A#7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
A#7/D D#7 G#7 C#
If you don't have any Jews!