Verse
Bm G A
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin
D A Bm
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
G A
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got 'em
D A
There probably was a problem with the post office or somethin'
Bm G A
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
D A Bm
But anyway, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
G
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
A G
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her
Bm
I'm a name her Bonnie
G
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
A D A Bm
G A
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
D A Bm
G A
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
D A Bm
G
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
A G
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Chorus]
Bm G A
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
D A Bm
Got out of bed at all
G A
The morning rain clouds up my window
D A Bm
And I can't see at all
G A
And even if I could it'll all be gray
D A Bm
But your picture on my wall
G A
It reminds me that it's not so bad
D A Bm
It's not so bad
[Verse 2]
Bm G
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance,
A D Bm
G
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
A D A
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
Bm G
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
A
We waited in the blistering cold for you
D A Bm
For four hours and you just said no
G
A G Bm
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
G
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
A D A
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
Bm G
You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way
A
I never knew my father neither
D A Bm
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
G
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
A D A
Bm G
A G
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Bm G
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
A D A
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
Bm G
See everthing you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
A D A
My girlfriend's jealous, because I talk about you 24/7
Bm G
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
A D A
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up
Bm G
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
A
Sincerely yours, Stan, p.s.
G
We should be together too
[Chorus]
Bm G A
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
D A Bm
Got out of bed at all
G A
The morning rain clouds up my window
D A Bm
And I can't see at all
G A
And even if I could it'll all be gray
D A Bm
But your picture on my wall
G A
It reminds me that it's not so bad
G
It's not so bad
[Verse 3]
Bm G A
Dear Mr I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
D A
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
Bm
It's been six months and still no words
G
I don't deserve it
A
I know you got my last two letters
D A
I wrote the addresses on them perfect
Bm G
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
A D A
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
Bm G A
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
G
You know that song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
Bm G
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
A D A
But didn't, but Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him
Bm G
That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning
A D A
Now it's too late, I'm on a 1,000 downers now, I'm drowsy
Bm G
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
A D A
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall
Bm G A
I love you Slim, we could've been together, think about it
G Bm
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
G
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
A D A Bm
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
G
A D A
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
Bm G
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
A D A Bm
Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
G A
Well, gotta go, I'm almost under the bridge now
G
[Instrumental] x2
Bm G A G
[Chorus]
Bm G A
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
D A Bm
Got out of bed at all
G A
The morning rain clouds up my window
D A Bm
And I can't see at all
G A
And even if I could it'll all be gray
D A Bm
But your picture on my wall
G A
It reminds me that it's not so bad
G
It's not so bad
[Verse 4]
Bm G
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
A D A
You say your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Bm G
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
A
And here's an autograph for your brother
D A Bm
I wrote it on this Starter cap
G
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
A D A Bm
G A
A
Bm
G
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
A D A Bm
To keep your a** from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
G
A D A Bm
G
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
A D
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
A Bm G
I hope you get to read this letter, I hope it reaches you in time
A G
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
Bm G
If you relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
A D A Bm
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
G
A D A Bm
G
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
A D A
And had his girlfriend in his trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
Bm G
And in the car they found a tape, didn't say who it was to
A G Bm
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you...
[Ending]
Bm
Damn