Verse
Dm A# C
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin
F C Dm
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
A# C
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got 'em
F C
There probably was a problem with the post office or somethin'
Dm A# C
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
F C Dm
But anyway, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
A#
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
C A#
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her
Dm
I'm a name her Bonnie
A#
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
C F C Dm
A# C
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
F C Dm
A# C
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
F C Dm
A#
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
C A#
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Chorus]
Dm A# C
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
F C Dm
Got out of bed at all
A# C
The morning rain clouds up my window
F C Dm
And I can't see at all
A# C
And even if I could it'll all be gray
F C Dm
But your picture on my wall
A# C
It reminds me that it's not so bad
F C Dm
It's not so bad
[Verse 2]
Dm A#
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance,
C F Dm
A#
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
C F C
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
Dm A#
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
C
We waited in the blistering cold for you
F C Dm
For four hours and you just said no
A#
C A# Dm
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
A#
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
C F C
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
Dm A#
You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way
C
I never knew my father neither
F C Dm
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
A#
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
C F C
Dm A#
C A#
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Dm A#
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
C F C
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
Dm A#
See everthing you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
C F C
My girlfriend's jealous, because I talk about you 24/7
Dm A#
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
C F C
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up
Dm A#
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
C
Sincerely yours, Stan, p.s.
A#
We should be together too
[Chorus]
Dm A# C
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
F C Dm
Got out of bed at all
A# C
The morning rain clouds up my window
F C Dm
And I can't see at all
A# C
And even if I could it'll all be gray
F C Dm
But your picture on my wall
A# C
It reminds me that it's not so bad
A#
It's not so bad
[Verse 3]
Dm A# C
Dear Mr I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
F C
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
Dm
It's been six months and still no words
A#
I don't deserve it
C
I know you got my last two letters
F C
I wrote the addresses on them perfect
Dm A#
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
C F C
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
Dm A# C
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
A#
You know that song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
Dm A#
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
C F C
But didn't, but Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him
Dm A#
That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning
C F C
Now it's too late, I'm on a 1,000 downers now, I'm drowsy
Dm A#
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
C F C
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall
Dm A# C
I love you Slim, we could've been together, think about it
A# Dm
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
A#
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
C F C Dm
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
A#
C F C
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
Dm A#
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
C F C Dm
Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
A# C
Well, gotta go, I'm almost under the bridge now
A#
[Instrumental] x2
Dm A# C A#
[Chorus]
Dm A# C
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
F C Dm
Got out of bed at all
A# C
The morning rain clouds up my window
F C Dm
And I can't see at all
A# C
And even if I could it'll all be gray
F C Dm
But your picture on my wall
A# C
It reminds me that it's not so bad
A#
It's not so bad
[Verse 4]
Dm A#
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
C F C
You say your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Dm A#
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
C
And here's an autograph for your brother
F C Dm
I wrote it on this Starter cap
A#
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
C F C Dm
A# C
C
Dm
A#
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
C F C Dm
To keep your a** from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
A#
C F C Dm
A#
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
C F
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
C Dm A#
I hope you get to read this letter, I hope it reaches you in time
C A#
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
Dm A#
If you relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
C F C Dm
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
A#
C F C Dm
A#
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
C F C
And had his girlfriend in his trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
Dm A#
And in the car they found a tape, didn't say who it was to
C A# Dm
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you...
[Ending]
Dm
Damn