Verse
Em C D
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin
G D Em
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
C D
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got 'em
G D
There probably was a problem with the post office or somethin'
Em C D
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
G D Em
But anyway, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
C
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
D C
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her
Em
I'm a name her Bonnie
C
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
D G D Em
C D
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
G D Em
C D
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
G D Em
C
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
D C
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Chorus]
Em C D
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
G D Em
Got out of bed at all
C D
The morning rain clouds up my window
G D Em
And I can't see at all
C D
And even if I could it'll all be gray
G D Em
But your picture on my wall
C D
It reminds me that it's not so bad
G D Em
It's not so bad
[Verse 2]
Em C
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance,
D G Em
C
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
D G D
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
Em C
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
D
We waited in the blistering cold for you
G D Em
For four hours and you just said no
C
D C Em
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
C
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
D G D
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
Em C
You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way
D
I never knew my father neither
G D Em
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
C
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
D G D
Em C
D C
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Em C
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
D G D
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
Em C
See everthing you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
D G D
My girlfriend's jealous, because I talk about you 24/7
Em C
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
D G D
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up
Em C
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
D
Sincerely yours, Stan, p.s.
C
We should be together too
[Chorus]
Em C D
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
G D Em
Got out of bed at all
C D
The morning rain clouds up my window
G D Em
And I can't see at all
C D
And even if I could it'll all be gray
G D Em
But your picture on my wall
C D
It reminds me that it's not so bad
C
It's not so bad
[Verse 3]
Em C D
Dear Mr I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
G D
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
Em
It's been six months and still no words
C
I don't deserve it
D
I know you got my last two letters
G D
I wrote the addresses on them perfect
Em C
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
D G D
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
Em C D
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
C
You know that song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
Em C
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
D G D
But didn't, but Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him
Em C
That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning
D G D
Now it's too late, I'm on a 1,000 downers now, I'm drowsy
Em C
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
D G D
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall
Em C D
I love you Slim, we could've been together, think about it
C Em
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
C
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
D G D Em
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
C
D G D
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
Em C
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
D G D Em
Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
C D
Well, gotta go, I'm almost under the bridge now
C
[Instrumental] x2
Em C D C
[Chorus]
Em C D
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
G D Em
Got out of bed at all
C D
The morning rain clouds up my window
G D Em
And I can't see at all
C D
And even if I could it'll all be gray
G D Em
But your picture on my wall
C D
It reminds me that it's not so bad
C
It's not so bad
[Verse 4]
Em C
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
D G D
You say your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Em C
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
D
And here's an autograph for your brother
G D Em
I wrote it on this Starter cap
C
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
D G D Em
C D
D
Em
C
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
D G D Em
To keep your a** from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
C
D G D Em
C
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
D G
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
D Em C
I hope you get to read this letter, I hope it reaches you in time
D C
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
Em C
If you relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
D G D Em
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
C
D G D Em
C
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
D G D
And had his girlfriend in his trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
Em C
And in the car they found a tape, didn't say who it was to
D C Em
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you...
[Ending]
Em
Damn
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