Verse
Cm G# A#
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin
D# A# Cm
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
G# A#
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got 'em
D# A#
There probably was a problem with the post office or somethin'
Cm G# A#
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
D# A# Cm
But anyway, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
G#
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
A# G#
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her
Cm
I'm a name her Bonnie
G#
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
A# D# A# Cm
G# A#
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
D# A# Cm
G# A#
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
D# A# Cm
G#
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
A# G#
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Chorus]
Cm G# A#
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
D# A# Cm
Got out of bed at all
G# A#
The morning rain clouds up my window
D# A# Cm
And I can't see at all
G# A#
And even if I could it'll all be gray
D# A# Cm
But your picture on my wall
G# A#
It reminds me that it's not so bad
D# A# Cm
It's not so bad
[Verse 2]
Cm G#
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance,
A# D# Cm
G#
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
A# D# A#
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
Cm G#
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
A#
We waited in the blistering cold for you
D# A# Cm
For four hours and you just said no
G#
A# G# Cm
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
G#
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
A# D# A#
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
Cm G#
You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way
A#
I never knew my father neither
D# A# Cm
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
G#
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
A# D# A#
Cm G#
A# G#
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Cm G#
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
A# D# A#
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
Cm G#
See everthing you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
A# D# A#
My girlfriend's jealous, because I talk about you 24/7
Cm G#
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
A# D# A#
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up
Cm G#
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
A#
Sincerely yours, Stan, p.s.
G#
We should be together too
[Chorus]
Cm G# A#
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
D# A# Cm
Got out of bed at all
G# A#
The morning rain clouds up my window
D# A# Cm
And I can't see at all
G# A#
And even if I could it'll all be gray
D# A# Cm
But your picture on my wall
G# A#
It reminds me that it's not so bad
G#
It's not so bad
[Verse 3]
Cm G# A#
Dear Mr I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
D# A#
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
Cm
It's been six months and still no words
G#
I don't deserve it
A#
I know you got my last two letters
D# A#
I wrote the addresses on them perfect
Cm G#
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
A# D# A#
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
Cm G# A#
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
G#
You know that song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
Cm G#
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
A# D# A#
But didn't, but Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him
Cm G#
That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning
A# D# A#
Now it's too late, I'm on a 1,000 downers now, I'm drowsy
Cm G#
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
A# D# A#
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall
Cm G# A#
I love you Slim, we could've been together, think about it
G# Cm
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
G#
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
A# D# A# Cm
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
G#
A# D# A#
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
Cm G#
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
A# D# A# Cm
Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
G# A#
Well, gotta go, I'm almost under the bridge now
G#
[Instrumental] x2
Cm G# A# G#
[Chorus]
Cm G# A#
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
D# A# Cm
Got out of bed at all
G# A#
The morning rain clouds up my window
D# A# Cm
And I can't see at all
G# A#
And even if I could it'll all be gray
D# A# Cm
But your picture on my wall
G# A#
It reminds me that it's not so bad
G#
It's not so bad
[Verse 4]
Cm G#
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
A# D# A#
You say your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Cm G#
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
A#
And here's an autograph for your brother
D# A# Cm
I wrote it on this Starter cap
G#
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
A# D# A# Cm
G# A#
A#
Cm
G#
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
A# D# A# Cm
To keep your a** from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
G#
A# D# A# Cm
G#
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
A# D#
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
A# Cm G#
I hope you get to read this letter, I hope it reaches you in time
A# G#
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
Cm G#
If you relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
A# D# A# Cm
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
G#
A# D# A# Cm
G#
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
A# D# A#
And had his girlfriend in his trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
Cm G#
And in the car they found a tape, didn't say who it was to
A# G# Cm
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you...
[Ending]
Cm
Damn