Intro
B D F# D#m
[Verse 1]
B D F#
I'm totally confused
D#m
By you
B D F#
I'm totally confused
D#m
By you
B D F#
Theres a ten foot man
D#m
Making my lunch
B D F#
I'll never understand
D#m C#
I want you so much
[Chorus]
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B D F# D#m
[Verse 2]
B D F#
I'm totally confused
D#m
By you
B D F#
I'm totally confused
D#m
By you
B D F#
Whisper in my face
D#m
Scream in my ear
B D F#
Pack me in a suitcase
D#m
With the can of beer
[Chorus]
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B F# F
And I never, ever want it
B D F# D#m
6. Piece Of Shit
[Intro]
C# D#m G# C# A#m D#m G# F# x2
[Chorus]
C# D#m
I called my baby a piece of shit
G# C#
She hated it, I hated it
A#m D#m G# F#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
C# D#m
She let go and I caught it
G# C#
I hated it, She hated it
A#m D#m G# F# C# D#m
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
[Verse 1]
G# D#m
Ripping up the carpet tiles
G# D#m
Greeted by a lonely smile
G# F#
And the foundations seemed so solid
D#m G#
By the roof was always leaking, woo-hoo-hoo!
C# D#m G# C# A#m D#m G# F# x2
[Verse 2]
C# D#m
If you call my name I'll come strolling
G# C#
Because I've fallen in the flame
D#m
If you think I'm all that you want
G# C# D#m G#
The restaurant is booked in your name
[Chorus]
C# D#m
I called my baby a piece of shit
G# C#
She hated it, I hated it
A#m D#m G# F#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
C# D#m
She let go and I caught it
G# C#
I hated it, She hated it
A#m D#m G# F# C# D#m C#
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
7. Pinball Lez
[Intro]
G# B
D# Gm Dm G#
D# Gm Dm G# D#
[Verse 1]
Gm Dm
Pinball Lez is shacked up
G# D# A# D#
With Nan's girlfriend
Gm Dm
Reconditioning pinballs
G# D#
He farms them out again
[Verse 2]
Gm Dm
The word on the street is suggesting
G# D# A# D#
Things aren't so great
Gm Dm
At the St. Lucia residence
G# D#
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
G#
And no-one seems to be
B D#
Answering the phone
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D#
The pinballs need you
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D#
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D#
The cops will understand everything
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C# Dm D# Gm Dm G# D#
The casinos are rigged to beat you
Gm Dm G# D#
[Verse 3]
Gm Dm
Lez has given up
G# D#
He's moving out to Stanthorpe
Gm Dm
Swidden agriculture
G# D#
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
G# B G#
Out in the fields today
B
No-one seems to be
D#
Answering the phone
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D#
The pinballs need you
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D#
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D#
The cops will understand everything
G# A#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C# Dm D# Gm Dm G# D#
The casinos are rigged to beat you
8. Sons And Daughters
[Verse 1]
F# C# E B
If I could read their writing I would let you know
F# C# E B
All about their records and the places they go
C# E B D#m
I don't get it but I see it in the sun
E B F# C# G#
And the aerosols they use are never captured by security
[Verse 2]
F# C# E B
Cameras talking and the lenses are walking
F# C# E B
All of it's funky just to let me know
[Chorus]
C#
I don't get it (I don't get it)
E
But I get it (I don't get it)
B D#
From the sons and daughters
E B F# C# G#
We spent all of our money on groceries from Seessel's
[Bridge]
A E A
I fell asleep in the morning light
E A
I fell asleep in the very first light
E A
And as the day had just begun
F#m A E
With you lying in the sun
A E A
Lying in the very last sun
A E A
Lying in the sun
E A
Lying in the very last sun
[Verse 3]
F# C# E B
If I could read their writing I would let you know
F# C# E B
Progress from colouring to outlining to piecing on their own
C# E B D#
I like you because you are just the right height
F# E
If I could read their writing I would let you know
9. Nice Bird
[Intro]
B D# D
B D# D
[Verse 1]
B D# D
I've got a nice bird
B D# D
I've got a nice bird
C#m G#m C#m G#m
I understand that a bird in my hand
E D#
Is worth two in the bush
C#m G#m C#m G#m E
Understand that the bird is the word that I use
D# D
To describe you
[Chorus]
B D# D
I've got a nice bird
B D# D
I've got a nice bird
B D# D
I've got a nice bird
[Verse 2]
C#m G#m C#m G#m
This world divides into people who think
E D#
There are two kinds of folks and those who don't
C#m G#m C#m G#m
Trey's got the feathers and a 12-gauge shotgun
E D# B A X 2
Volkswagens from the Reich!
[Chorus]
B D# D
I've got a nice bird
B D# D
I've got a nice bird
[Bridge]
F#m B E
There's a stretch of road out past The Gap
A D
Where they're taking some snaps, stick to the music champ
The words are important
G#7 B A X 4
The words are important!
[Chorus]
B D#m D
I've got a nice bird
B D#m D
I've got a nice bird X 5
[Outro]
C# C#
N.I.C.E.B.I.R.D. bird
10. No Rock And Roll Record
[Verse 1]
F# C# F# C#
No rock'n'roll singer is going to sing my song
A#m G# B
Same stupid words going over and over
F# C# F# C#
The drop-out turned out trashing my sound
A#m G# B
Rub the lines off the back of my hands
[Chorus]
C#
I cut my teeth on the end of my bed
G#
I never ever sang in a high school band
C# G# A#m
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
B
By now
[Verse 2]
F# C# F# C#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
A#m G# B
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, ED
F# C# F# C#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
A#m G# B
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
[Chorus]
C#
The radio could have been kinder to me
G#
But I never looked good on a colour TV
C# G# A#m
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
B
By now
F# C# F# C# A#m G# B x2
[Bridge]
E G# A B
I've got a message from the other side
E G# A
It came to me last night in semaphore
B C#
But I can't play the minor chords
[Verse 3]
F# C# F# C#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
A#m G# B
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, ED
F# C# F# C#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
A#m G# B
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
11. Sinatra Theory
[Verse 1]
F# D#m
I walk these corridors
F# D#m
Don't think I'm ever coming home
F# D#m
One time to be your friend
F# D#m
I killed off everything you owned
G#m F# D#m
Losing the money was the hardest thing to own
[Chorus]
F# D#m
I'm coming home
[Verse 2]
F# D#m
I had some money once
F# D#m
I hear I spent it all on you
F# D#m
One time your Christmas lights
F# D#m
I threw my body on the lawn
G#m F# D#m
I'm smashing bugs with a ping-pong bat at home
[Chorus]
F# D#m
I'm coming home
F# D#m
My skeleton falls down
F# D#m
I'm coming home
[Bridge]
D A
Community radio station rock gets played in the parking lots
E Bm
These speakers amplify the tones
[Chorus]
F# D#m
I'm coming home
F# D#m
My skeleton falls down
F# D#m F#
I walk these corridors
12. Schtum
[Verse 1]
A
I'm remaining schtum
I'm not going to speak out any more
Bm A
I'm gonna be quiet, so quiet
Bm F#m
Almost silent like the flow
[Verse 2]
A
Now that you are missing
I've called the searching off
Bm
I'll blame it on the light
A
And I'm so tired
Bm F#m
We'll resume it at dawn
[Chorus]
Bm Dm
Floating in the water
D A
The floor is far below
[Verse 3]
Bm
I'm heading for Japan
A
If I don't get snagged first
Bm F#m
As the water overflows
[Break]
A Bm A Bm F#m
Whistling bit
[Chorus]
Bm Dm
Floating in the water
D A
The floor is far below
[verse 4]
Bm
I'm heading for Japan
A
If I don't get snagged first
Bm F#m A
As the water overflows
13. The Truth About Drugs
[Verse 1]
E B
All the junkies are piling in their cars
F# F#m
And the kids can stay home from school
E B
Got the fire sticks, got the guns
A B A
We got some CDs and and some tapes to tape them on
[Chorus]
E B A
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
E B A
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
E B
C#nd they was travelling from A to D# (C# to B)
C#m B E
And I love only you
[Verse 2]
E B E B
We gotta stop at a chemist I know
A B G#m C#m
And that's the last of the car lighter
E B E B
I got a headache and my headache won't go
A B G# D
Were only eating places truck drivers go
[Chorus]
E B A
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
E B A
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
E B
C#nd they was travelling from A to D# (C# to B)
C#m B E
And I love only you
[Outro]
E B C#m B
This is called the truth about drugs
E B C#m B
(This is called the truth about drugs)
E B C#m B
This is called the truth about drugs
E B C#m B A
(This is called the truth about drugs)
14. Music Is Crap
[Verse 1]
E B A E
Red eyes blue gaze, you look like hell today
B A E
Step out on parade, you do it so well
B A E
Your favourite shirt, those shoes that you bought in Perth
B A E
Dumb Hair smart slacks, that's rock apparel
[Chorus]
A
(Ahhhhhh)
E A E A
Music is crap aliens told me so
E A E A
Better than that, were gonna let you know
E A E A
Just listen up, become a receiver
E A B
And then space out, when you're a believer
A
That's what religion's for
E A E A
Music is crap
[Verse 2]
E B A E
Think of your friends, then put one on the door
B A E
Everythings free, but were still poor
A E
Don't matter what you like, aliens hate it
A B
Rock, pop, metal, shop, they just berate it
A
And I've found
B A
They dig the silence, hate the sound
B A
So pick up your telescopes, put your guitars down
B
That's what I've found..
[Chorus]
E A E A
Music is crap aliens told me so
E A E A
Better than that, were gonna let you know
E A E A
Just listen up, become a receiver
E A B
And then space out, when you're a believer
A
That's what religion's for
E A E A
Music is crap
E A E A
Music is crap
E A E A
Music is crap
E A E A
Music is crap
15. The Drum
[Verse 1]
F# C# F# C#
After the show yeah we have to go
F A#
You don't like it, I don't like it
F# C# F# C#
Write me a note about all of the folks
F A# C#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
D# E B
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
F C
'Cos it seems out of place
G# D# F
Won't you be so kind to find it?
E B
I had my amp there as well
F C
But I think that it fell
G# D# F
Left to the stage right behind it
We won't find it
[Verse 2]
F# C# F# C#
Just like the blow that went right to your head
F A#
You don't show it. You don't show it
F# C# F# C#
Now off to the station we had to go
F C
You don't like it, no you don't like it
[Chorus]
D# E B
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
F C
'Cos it seems out of place
G# D# F
Won't you be so kind to find it?
E B
I had my amp there as well
F C
But I think that it fell
G# D# F
Left to the stage right behind it
F
We won't find it
F
I don't like it
[Bridge]
A# B
Guitar and case, yeah!
D# F# A#
(Woah!)
B
Not in its place, yaaargh!
D# F# A#
(Woah!)
B
My amp's there as well!
D# F# A#
(Woah!)
B
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
D# F#
(Woah!)
[Verse 3]
F# C# F# C#
After the show yeah we have to go
F A#
You don't like it, I don't like it
F# C# F# C#
Write me a note about all of the folks
F A# C#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
D# E B
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
F C
'Cos it seems out of place
G# D# F
Won't you be so kind to find it?
E B
I had my amp there as well
F C
But I think that it fell
G# D# F
Left to the stage right behind it
F
We won't find it
F
No you don't like it, like it, like it
[Outro]
A# B
Guitar and case, yeah!
D# F# A#
(Woah!)
B
Not in its place, yaaargh!
D# F# A#
(Woah!)
B
My amp's there as well!
D# F# A#
(Woah!)
B
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
D# F#
(Woah!)
D# C#
Off the stage, yeah
D# F#
Off the stage, yeah
D# C#
Off the stage, yeah
D# A#
16. Eight Years Of Rock And Roll Has Completley Destroyed My Memory
[Verse 1]
C# G# A#m F#
I've got no memories
Fm C#
Oooh that's what I need
G# A#m F#
I've got no past or yesterdays
Fm D#m
Memories is what I need
Fm C# G# F# G#
But these memories are made for speed
[Verse 2]
C# G# A#m F#
I've forgot this morning
Fm C#
Forgot this evening too
G# A#m F#
I'll have to beg your pardon
Fm D#m
Your name starts with a Q
Fm C# G# F#
Oh no it's something I've missed
G# C# F# C#
My memory's missed
[Bridge]
F# C# B
I understand about your tan
F# C# B
So let me sleep tonight
F#
If there's a song in my throat
C# B
Guess it's something I ate
F# C# B
I guess must be throwing up
E C#m
So kiss me
E C#m
And make me believe
E C#m
In ideologies
E C#m
And the streets of sesame
C#
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh wah!
F#m C#m D#m B A#m F#
[Verse 3]
C# G# A#m F#
I've got a good idea
Fm C#
To write my memories down
G# A#m F#
Then I'll have nothing to fear
Fm D#m
When mine lets me down
Fm F
I'll find names and addresses on paper on the ground
F# C#
I'm good with faces, no good with names