Intro
F# A C# A#m
[Verse 1]
F# A C#
I'm totally confused
A#m
By you
F# A C#
I'm totally confused
A#m
By you
F# A C#
Theres a ten foot man
A#m
Making my lunch
F# A C#
I'll never understand
A#m G#
I want you so much
[Chorus]
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# A C# A#m
[Verse 2]
F# A C#
I'm totally confused
A#m
By you
F# A C#
I'm totally confused
A#m
By you
F# A C#
Whisper in my face
A#m
Scream in my ear
F# A C#
Pack me in a suitcase
A#m
With the can of beer
[Chorus]
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# C# C
And I never, ever want it
F# A C# A#m
6. Piece Of Shit
[Intro]
G# A#m D# G# Fm A#m D# C# x2
[Chorus]
G# A#m
I called my baby a piece of shit
D# G#
She hated it, I hated it
Fm A#m D# C#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
G# A#m
She let go and I caught it
D# G#
I hated it, She hated it
Fm A#m D# C# G# A#m
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
[Verse 1]
D# A#m
Ripping up the carpet tiles
D# A#m
Greeted by a lonely smile
D# C#
And the foundations seemed so solid
A#m D#
By the roof was always leaking, woo-hoo-hoo!
G# A#m D# G# Fm A#m D# C# x2
[Verse 2]
G# A#m
If you call my name I'll come strolling
D# G#
Because I've fallen in the flame
A#m
If you think I'm all that you want
D# G# A#m D#
The restaurant is booked in your name
[Chorus]
G# A#m
I called my baby a piece of shit
D# G#
She hated it, I hated it
Fm A#m D# C#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
G# A#m
She let go and I caught it
D# G#
I hated it, She hated it
Fm A#m D# C# G# A#m G#
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
7. Pinball Lez
[Intro]
D# F#
A# Dm Am D#
A# Dm Am D# A#
[Verse 1]
Dm Am
Pinball Lez is shacked up
D# A# F A#
With Nan's girlfriend
Dm Am
Reconditioning pinballs
D# A#
He farms them out again
[Verse 2]
Dm Am
The word on the street is suggesting
D# A# F A#
Things aren't so great
Dm Am
At the St. Lucia residence
D# A#
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
D#
And no-one seems to be
F# A#
Answering the phone
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A#
The pinballs need you
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A#
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A#
The cops will understand everything
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
G# Am A# Dm Am D# A#
The casinos are rigged to beat you
Dm Am D# A#
[Verse 3]
Dm Am
Lez has given up
D# A#
He's moving out to Stanthorpe
Dm Am
Swidden agriculture
D# A#
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
D# F# D#
Out in the fields today
F#
No-one seems to be
A#
Answering the phone
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A#
The pinballs need you
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A#
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A#
The cops will understand everything
D# F
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
G# Am A# Dm Am D# A#
The casinos are rigged to beat you
8. Sons And Daughters
[Verse 1]
C# G# B F#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
C# G# B F#
All about their records and the places they go
G# B F# A#m
I don't get it but I see it in the sun
B F# C# G# D#
And the aerosols they use are never captured by security
[Verse 2]
C# G# B F#
Cameras talking and the lenses are walking
C# G# B F#
All of it's funky just to let me know
[Chorus]
G#
I don't get it (I don't get it)
B
But I get it (I don't get it)
F# A#
From the sons and daughters
B F# C# G# D#
We spent all of our money on groceries from Seessel's
[Bridge]
E B E
I fell asleep in the morning light
B E
I fell asleep in the very first light
B E
And as the day had just begun
C#m E B
With you lying in the sun
E B E
Lying in the very last sun
E B E
Lying in the sun
B E
Lying in the very last sun
[Verse 3]
C# G# B F#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
C# G# B F#
Progress from colouring to outlining to piecing on their own
G# B F# A#
I like you because you are just the right height
C# B
If I could read their writing I would let you know
9. Nice Bird
[Intro]
F# A# A
F# A# A
[Verse 1]
F# A# A
I've got a nice bird
F# A# A
I've got a nice bird
G#m D#m G#m D#m
I understand that a bird in my hand
B A#
Is worth two in the bush
G#m D#m G#m D#m B
Understand that the bird is the word that I use
A# A
To describe you
[Chorus]
F# A# A
I've got a nice bird
F# A# A
I've got a nice bird
F# A# A
I've got a nice bird
[Verse 2]
G#m D#m G#m D#m
This world divides into people who think
B A#
There are two kinds of folks and those who don't
G#m D#m G#m D#m
Trey's got the feathers and a 12-gauge shotgun
B A# F# E X 2
Volkswagens from the Reich!
[Chorus]
F# A# A
I've got a nice bird
F# A# A
I've got a nice bird
[Bridge]
C#m F# B
There's a stretch of road out past The Gap
E A
Where they're taking some snaps, stick to the music champ
The words are important
D#7 F# E X 4
The words are important!
[Chorus]
F# A#m A
I've got a nice bird
F# A#m A
I've got a nice bird X 5
[Outro]
G# G#
N.I.C.E.B.I.R.D. bird
10. No Rock And Roll Record
[Verse 1]
C# G# C# G#
No rock'n'roll singer is going to sing my song
Fm D# F#
Same stupid words going over and over
C# G# C# G#
The drop-out turned out trashing my sound
Fm D# F#
Rub the lines off the back of my hands
[Chorus]
G#
I cut my teeth on the end of my bed
D#
I never ever sang in a high school band
G# D# Fm
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
F#
By now
[Verse 2]
C# G# C# G#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
Fm D# F#
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, BD
C# G# C# G#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
Fm D# F#
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
[Chorus]
G#
The radio could have been kinder to me
D#
But I never looked good on a colour TV
G# D# Fm
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
F#
By now
C# G# C# G# Fm D# F# x2
[Bridge]
B D# E F#
I've got a message from the other side
B D# E
It came to me last night in semaphore
F# G#
But I can't play the minor chords
[Verse 3]
C# G# C# G#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
Fm D# F#
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, BD
C# G# C# G#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
Fm D# F#
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
11. Sinatra Theory
[Verse 1]
C# A#m
I walk these corridors
C# A#m
Don't think I'm ever coming home
C# A#m
One time to be your friend
C# A#m
I killed off everything you owned
D#m C# A#m
Losing the money was the hardest thing to own
[Chorus]
C# A#m
I'm coming home
[Verse 2]
C# A#m
I had some money once
C# A#m
I hear I spent it all on you
C# A#m
One time your Christmas lights
C# A#m
I threw my body on the lawn
D#m C# A#m
I'm smashing bugs with a ping-pong bat at home
[Chorus]
C# A#m
I'm coming home
C# A#m
My skeleton falls down
C# A#m
I'm coming home
[Bridge]
A E
Community radio station rock gets played in the parking lots
B F#m
These speakers amplify the tones
[Chorus]
C# A#m
I'm coming home
C# A#m
My skeleton falls down
C# A#m C#
I walk these corridors
12. Schtum
[Verse 1]
E
I'm remaining schtum
I'm not going to speak out any more
F#m E
I'm gonna be quiet, so quiet
F#m C#m
Almost silent like the flow
[Verse 2]
E
Now that you are missing
I've called the searching off
F#m
I'll blame it on the light
E
And I'm so tired
F#m C#m
We'll resume it at dawn
[Chorus]
F#m Am
Floating in the water
A E
The floor is far below
[Verse 3]
F#m
I'm heading for Japan
E
If I don't get snagged first
F#m C#m
As the water overflows
[Break]
E F#m E F#m C#m
Whistling bit
[Chorus]
F#m Am
Floating in the water
A E
The floor is far below
[verse 4]
F#m
I'm heading for Japan
E
If I don't get snagged first
F#m C#m E
As the water overflows
13. The Truth About Drugs
[Verse 1]
B F#
All the junkies are piling in their cars
C# C#m
And the kids can stay home from school
B F#
Got the fire sticks, got the guns
E F# E
We got some CDs and and some tapes to tape them on
[Chorus]
B F# E
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
B F# E
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
B F#
G#nd they was travelling from A to A# (G# to B)
G#m F# B
And I love only you
[Verse 2]
B F# B F#
We gotta stop at a chemist I know
E F# D#m G#m
And that's the last of the car lighter
B F# B F#
I got a headache and my headache won't go
E F# D# A
Were only eating places truck drivers go
[Chorus]
B F# E
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
B F# E
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
B F#
G#nd they was travelling from A to A# (G# to B)
G#m F# B
And I love only you
[Outro]
B F# G#m F#
This is called the truth about drugs
B F# G#m F#
(This is called the truth about drugs)
B F# G#m F#
This is called the truth about drugs
B F# G#m F# E
(This is called the truth about drugs)
14. Music Is Crap
[Verse 1]
B F# E B
Red eyes blue gaze, you look like hell today
F# E B
Step out on parade, you do it so well
F# E B
Your favourite shirt, those shoes that you bought in Perth
F# E B
Dumb Hair smart slacks, that's rock apparel
[Chorus]
E
(Ahhhhhh)
B E B E
Music is crap aliens told me so
B E B E
Better than that, were gonna let you know
B E B E
Just listen up, become a receiver
B E F#
And then space out, when you're a believer
E
That's what religion's for
B E B E
Music is crap
[Verse 2]
B F# E B
Think of your friends, then put one on the door
F# E B
Everythings free, but were still poor
E B
Don't matter what you like, aliens hate it
E F#
Rock, pop, metal, shop, they just berate it
E
And I've found
F# E
They dig the silence, hate the sound
F# E
So pick up your telescopes, put your guitars down
F#
That's what I've found..
[Chorus]
B E B E
Music is crap aliens told me so
B E B E
Better than that, were gonna let you know
B E B E
Just listen up, become a receiver
B E F#
And then space out, when you're a believer
E
That's what religion's for
B E B E
Music is crap
B E B E
Music is crap
B E B E
Music is crap
B E B E
Music is crap
15. The Drum
[Verse 1]
C# G# C# G#
After the show yeah we have to go
C F
You don't like it, I don't like it
C# G# C# G#
Write me a note about all of the folks
C F G#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
A# B F#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
C G
'Cos it seems out of place
D# A# C
Won't you be so kind to find it?
B F#
I had my amp there as well
C G
But I think that it fell
D# A# C
Left to the stage right behind it
We won't find it
[Verse 2]
C# G# C# G#
Just like the blow that went right to your head
C F
You don't show it. You don't show it
C# G# C# G#
Now off to the station we had to go
C G
You don't like it, no you don't like it
[Chorus]
A# B F#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
C G
'Cos it seems out of place
D# A# C
Won't you be so kind to find it?
B F#
I had my amp there as well
C G
But I think that it fell
D# A# C
Left to the stage right behind it
C
We won't find it
C
I don't like it
[Bridge]
F F#
Guitar and case, yeah!
A# C# F
(Woah!)
F#
Not in its place, yaaargh!
A# C# F
(Woah!)
F#
My amp's there as well!
A# C# F
(Woah!)
F#
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
A# C#
(Woah!)
[Verse 3]
C# G# C# G#
After the show yeah we have to go
C F
You don't like it, I don't like it
C# G# C# G#
Write me a note about all of the folks
C F G#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
A# B F#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
C G
'Cos it seems out of place
D# A# C
Won't you be so kind to find it?
B F#
I had my amp there as well
C G
But I think that it fell
D# A# C
Left to the stage right behind it
C
We won't find it
C
No you don't like it, like it, like it
[Outro]
F F#
Guitar and case, yeah!
A# C# F
(Woah!)
F#
Not in its place, yaaargh!
A# C# F
(Woah!)
F#
My amp's there as well!
A# C# F
(Woah!)
F#
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
A# C#
(Woah!)
A# G#
Off the stage, yeah
A# C#
Off the stage, yeah
A# G#
Off the stage, yeah
A# F
16. Eight Years Of Rock And Roll Has Completley Destroyed My Memory
[Verse 1]
G# D# Fm C#
I've got no memories
Cm G#
Oooh that's what I need
D# Fm C#
I've got no past or yesterdays
Cm A#m
Memories is what I need
Cm G# D# C# D#
But these memories are made for speed
[Verse 2]
G# D# Fm C#
I've forgot this morning
Cm G#
Forgot this evening too
D# Fm C#
I'll have to beg your pardon
Cm A#m
Your name starts with a Q
Cm G# D# C#
Oh no it's something I've missed
D# G# C# G#
My memory's missed
[Bridge]
C# G# F#
I understand about your tan
C# G# F#
So let me sleep tonight
C#
If there's a song in my throat
G# F#
Guess it's something I ate
C# G# F#
I guess must be throwing up
B G#m
So kiss me
B G#m
And make me believe
B G#m
In ideologies
B G#m
And the streets of sesame
G#
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh wah!
C#m G#m A#m F# Fm C#
[Verse 3]
G# D# Fm C#
I've got a good idea
Cm G#
To write my memories down
D# Fm C#
Then I'll have nothing to fear
Cm A#m
When mine lets me down
Cm C
I'll find names and addresses on paper on the ground
C# G#
I'm good with faces, no good with names
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