Intro
C# E G# Fm
[Verse 1]
C# E G#
I'm totally confused
Fm
By you
C# E G#
I'm totally confused
Fm
By you
C# E G#
Theres a ten foot man
Fm
Making my lunch
C# E G#
I'll never understand
Fm D#
I want you so much
[Chorus]
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# E G# Fm
[Verse 2]
C# E G#
I'm totally confused
Fm
By you
C# E G#
I'm totally confused
Fm
By you
C# E G#
Whisper in my face
Fm
Scream in my ear
C# E G#
Pack me in a suitcase
Fm
With the can of beer
[Chorus]
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# G# G
And I never, ever want it
C# E G# Fm
6. Piece Of Shit
[Intro]
D# Fm A# D# Cm Fm A# G# x2
[Chorus]
D# Fm
I called my baby a piece of shit
A# D#
She hated it, I hated it
Cm Fm A# G#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
D# Fm
She let go and I caught it
A# D#
I hated it, She hated it
Cm Fm A# G# D# Fm
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
[Verse 1]
A# Fm
Ripping up the carpet tiles
A# Fm
Greeted by a lonely smile
A# G#
And the foundations seemed so solid
Fm A#
By the roof was always leaking, woo-hoo-hoo!
D# Fm A# D# Cm Fm A# G# x2
[Verse 2]
D# Fm
If you call my name I'll come strolling
A# D#
Because I've fallen in the flame
Fm
If you think I'm all that you want
A# D# Fm A#
The restaurant is booked in your name
[Chorus]
D# Fm
I called my baby a piece of shit
A# D#
She hated it, I hated it
Cm Fm A# G#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
D# Fm
She let go and I caught it
A# D#
I hated it, She hated it
Cm Fm A# G# D# Fm D#
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
7. Pinball Lez
[Intro]
A# C#
F Am Em A#
F Am Em A# F
[Verse 1]
Am Em
Pinball Lez is shacked up
A# F C F
With Nan's girlfriend
Am Em
Reconditioning pinballs
A# F
He farms them out again
[Verse 2]
Am Em
The word on the street is suggesting
A# F C F
Things aren't so great
Am Em
At the St. Lucia residence
A# F
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
A#
And no-one seems to be
C# F
Answering the phone
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
F
The pinballs need you
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
F
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
F
The cops will understand everything
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D# Em F Am Em A# F
The casinos are rigged to beat you
Am Em A# F
[Verse 3]
Am Em
Lez has given up
A# F
He's moving out to Stanthorpe
Am Em
Swidden agriculture
A# F
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
A# C# A#
Out in the fields today
C#
No-one seems to be
F
Answering the phone
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
F
The pinballs need you
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
F
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
F
The cops will understand everything
A# C
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
D# Em F Am Em A# F
The casinos are rigged to beat you
8. Sons And Daughters
[Verse 1]
G# D# F# C#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
G# D# F# C#
All about their records and the places they go
D# F# C# Fm
I don't get it but I see it in the sun
F# C# G# D# A#
And the aerosols they use are never captured by security
[Verse 2]
G# D# F# C#
Cameras talking and the lenses are walking
G# D# F# C#
All of it's funky just to let me know
[Chorus]
D#
I don't get it (I don't get it)
F#
But I get it (I don't get it)
C# F
From the sons and daughters
F# C# G# D# A#
We spent all of our money on groceries from Seessel's
[Bridge]
B F# B
I fell asleep in the morning light
F# B
I fell asleep in the very first light
F# B
And as the day had just begun
G#m B F#
With you lying in the sun
B F# B
Lying in the very last sun
B F# B
Lying in the sun
F# B
Lying in the very last sun
[Verse 3]
G# D# F# C#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
G# D# F# C#
Progress from colouring to outlining to piecing on their own
D# F# C# F
I like you because you are just the right height
G# F#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
9. Nice Bird
[Intro]
C# F E
C# F E
[Verse 1]
C# F E
I've got a nice bird
C# F E
I've got a nice bird
D#m A#m D#m A#m
I understand that a bird in my hand
F# F
Is worth two in the bush
D#m A#m D#m A#m F#
Understand that the bird is the word that I use
F E
To describe you
[Chorus]
C# F E
I've got a nice bird
C# F E
I've got a nice bird
C# F E
I've got a nice bird
[Verse 2]
D#m A#m D#m A#m
This world divides into people who think
F# F
There are two kinds of folks and those who don't
D#m A#m D#m A#m
Trey's got the feathers and a 12-gauge shotgun
F# F C# B X 2
Volkswagens from the Reich!
[Chorus]
C# F E
I've got a nice bird
C# F E
I've got a nice bird
[Bridge]
G#m C# F#
There's a stretch of road out past The Gap
B E
Where they're taking some snaps, stick to the music champ
The words are important
A#7 C# B X 4
The words are important!
[Chorus]
C# Fm E
I've got a nice bird
C# Fm E
I've got a nice bird X 5
[Outro]
D# D#
N.I.C.E.B.I.R.D. bird
10. No Rock And Roll Record
[Verse 1]
G# D# G# D#
No rock'n'roll singer is going to sing my song
Cm A# C#
Same stupid words going over and over
G# D# G# D#
The drop-out turned out trashing my sound
Cm A# C#
Rub the lines off the back of my hands
[Chorus]
D#
I cut my teeth on the end of my bed
A#
I never ever sang in a high school band
D# A# Cm
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
C#
By now
[Verse 2]
G# D# G# D#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
Cm A# C#
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, F#D
G# D# G# D#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
Cm A# C#
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
[Chorus]
D#
The radio could have been kinder to me
A#
But I never looked good on a colour TV
D# A# Cm
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
C#
By now
G# D# G# D# Cm A# C# x2
[Bridge]
F# A# B C#
I've got a message from the other side
F# A# B
It came to me last night in semaphore
C# D#
But I can't play the minor chords
[Verse 3]
G# D# G# D#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
Cm A# C#
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, F#D
G# D# G# D#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
Cm A# C#
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
11. Sinatra Theory
[Verse 1]
G# Fm
I walk these corridors
G# Fm
Don't think I'm ever coming home
G# Fm
One time to be your friend
G# Fm
I killed off everything you owned
A#m G# Fm
Losing the money was the hardest thing to own
[Chorus]
G# Fm
I'm coming home
[Verse 2]
G# Fm
I had some money once
G# Fm
I hear I spent it all on you
G# Fm
One time your Christmas lights
G# Fm
I threw my body on the lawn
A#m G# Fm
I'm smashing bugs with a ping-pong bat at home
[Chorus]
G# Fm
I'm coming home
G# Fm
My skeleton falls down
G# Fm
I'm coming home
[Bridge]
Fb B
Community radio station rock gets played in the parking lots
F# C#m
These speakers amplify the tones
[Chorus]
G# Fm
I'm coming home
G# Fm
My skeleton falls down
G# Fm G#
I walk these corridors
12. Schtum
[Verse 1]
B
I'm remaining schtum
I'm not going to speak out any more
C#m B
I'm gonna be quiet, so quiet
C#m G#m
Almost silent like the flow
[Verse 2]
B
Now that you are missing
I've called the searching off
C#m
I'll blame it on the light
B
And I'm so tired
C#m G#m
We'll resume it at dawn
[Chorus]
C#m Fbm
Floating in the water
Fb B
The floor is far below
[Verse 3]
C#m
I'm heading for Japan
B
If I don't get snagged first
C#m G#m
As the water overflows
[Break]
B C#m B C#m G#m
Whistling bit
[Chorus]
C#m Fbm
Floating in the water
Fb B
The floor is far below
[verse 4]
C#m
I'm heading for Japan
B
If I don't get snagged first
C#m G#m B
As the water overflows
13. The Truth About Drugs
[Verse 1]
F# C#
All the junkies are piling in their cars
G# G#m
And the kids can stay home from school
F# C#
Got the fire sticks, got the guns
B C# B
We got some CDs and and some tapes to tape them on
[Chorus]
F# C# B
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
F# C# B
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
F# C#
D#nd they was travelling from A to F (D# to B)
D#m C# F#
And I love only you
[Verse 2]
F# C# F# C#
We gotta stop at a chemist I know
B C# A#m D#m
And that's the last of the car lighter
F# C# F# C#
I got a headache and my headache won't go
B C# A# Fb
Were only eating places truck drivers go
[Chorus]
F# C# B
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
F# C# B
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
F# C#
D#nd they was travelling from A to F (D# to B)
D#m C# F#
And I love only you
[Outro]
F# C# D#m C#
This is called the truth about drugs
F# C# D#m C#
(This is called the truth about drugs)
F# C# D#m C#
This is called the truth about drugs
F# C# D#m C# B
(This is called the truth about drugs)
14. Music Is Crap
[Verse 1]
F# C# B F#
Red eyes blue gaze, you look like hell today
C# B F#
Step out on parade, you do it so well
C# B F#
Your favourite shirt, those shoes that you bought in Perth
C# B F#
Dumb Hair smart slacks, that's rock apparel
[Chorus]
B
(Ahhhhhh)
F# B F# B
Music is crap aliens told me so
F# B F# B
Better than that, were gonna let you know
F# B F# B
Just listen up, become a receiver
F# B C#
And then space out, when you're a believer
B
That's what religion's for
F# B F# B
Music is crap
[Verse 2]
F# C# B F#
Think of your friends, then put one on the door
C# B F#
Everythings free, but were still poor
B F#
Don't matter what you like, aliens hate it
B C#
Rock, pop, metal, shop, they just berate it
B
And I've found
C# B
They dig the silence, hate the sound
C# B
So pick up your telescopes, put your guitars down
C#
That's what I've found..
[Chorus]
F# B F# B
Music is crap aliens told me so
F# B F# B
Better than that, were gonna let you know
F# B F# B
Just listen up, become a receiver
F# B C#
And then space out, when you're a believer
B
That's what religion's for
F# B F# B
Music is crap
F# B F# B
Music is crap
F# B F# B
Music is crap
F# B F# B
Music is crap
15. The Drum
[Verse 1]
G# D# G# D#
After the show yeah we have to go
G C
You don't like it, I don't like it
G# D# G# D#
Write me a note about all of the folks
G C D#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
F F# C#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
G D
'Cos it seems out of place
A# F G
Won't you be so kind to find it?
F# C#
I had my amp there as well
G D
But I think that it fell
A# F G
Left to the stage right behind it
We won't find it
[Verse 2]
G# D# G# D#
Just like the blow that went right to your head
G C
You don't show it. You don't show it
G# D# G# D#
Now off to the station we had to go
G D
You don't like it, no you don't like it
[Chorus]
F F# C#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
G D
'Cos it seems out of place
A# F G
Won't you be so kind to find it?
F# C#
I had my amp there as well
G D
But I think that it fell
A# F G
Left to the stage right behind it
G
We won't find it
G
I don't like it
[Bridge]
C C#
Guitar and case, yeah!
F G# C
(Woah!)
C#
Not in its place, yaaargh!
F G# C
(Woah!)
C#
My amp's there as well!
F G# C
(Woah!)
C#
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
F G#
(Woah!)
[Verse 3]
G# D# G# D#
After the show yeah we have to go
G C
You don't like it, I don't like it
G# D# G# D#
Write me a note about all of the folks
G C D#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
F F# C#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
G D
'Cos it seems out of place
A# F G
Won't you be so kind to find it?
F# C#
I had my amp there as well
G D
But I think that it fell
A# F G
Left to the stage right behind it
G
We won't find it
G
No you don't like it, like it, like it
[Outro]
C C#
Guitar and case, yeah!
F G# C
(Woah!)
C#
Not in its place, yaaargh!
F G# C
(Woah!)
C#
My amp's there as well!
F G# C
(Woah!)
C#
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
F G#
(Woah!)
F D#
Off the stage, yeah
F G#
Off the stage, yeah
F D#
Off the stage, yeah
F C
16. Eight Years Of Rock And Roll Has Completley Destroyed My Memory
[Verse 1]
D# A# Cm G#
I've got no memories
Gm D#
Oooh that's what I need
A# Cm G#
I've got no past or yesterdays
Gm Fm
Memories is what I need
Gm D# A# G# A#
But these memories are made for speed
[Verse 2]
D# A# Cm G#
I've forgot this morning
Gm D#
Forgot this evening too
A# Cm G#
I'll have to beg your pardon
Gm Fm
Your name starts with a Q
Gm D# A# G#
Oh no it's something I've missed
A# D# G# D#
My memory's missed
[Bridge]
G# D# C#
I understand about your tan
G# D# C#
So let me sleep tonight
G#
If there's a song in my throat
D# C#
Guess it's something I ate
G# D# C#
I guess must be throwing up
F# D#m
So kiss me
F# D#m
And make me believe
F# D#m
In ideologies
F# D#m
And the streets of sesame
D#
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh wah!
G#m D#m Fm C# Cm G#
[Verse 3]
D# A# Cm G#
I've got a good idea
Gm D#
To write my memories down
A# Cm G#
Then I'll have nothing to fear
Gm Fm
When mine lets me down
Gm G
I'll find names and addresses on paper on the ground
G# D#
I'm good with faces, no good with names