Intro
G A# D Bm
[Verse 1]
G A# D
I'm totally confused
Bm
By you
G A# D
I'm totally confused
Bm
By you
G A# D
Theres a ten foot man
Bm
Making my lunch
G A# D
I'll never understand
Bm A
I want you so much
[Chorus]
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G A# D Bm
[Verse 2]
G A# D
I'm totally confused
Bm
By you
G A# D
I'm totally confused
Bm
By you
G A# D
Whisper in my face
Bm
Scream in my ear
G A# D
Pack me in a suitcase
Bm
With the can of beer
[Chorus]
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G D C#
And I never, ever want it
G A# D Bm
6. Piece Of Shit
[Intro]
A Bm E A F#m Bm E D x2
[Chorus]
A Bm
I called my baby a piece of shit
E A
She hated it, I hated it
F#m Bm E D
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
A Bm
She let go and I caught it
E A
I hated it, She hated it
F#m Bm E D A Bm
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
[Verse 1]
E Bm
Ripping up the carpet tiles
E Bm
Greeted by a lonely smile
E D
And the foundations seemed so solid
Bm E
By the roof was always leaking, woo-hoo-hoo!
A Bm E A F#m Bm E D x2
[Verse 2]
A Bm
If you call my name I'll come strolling
E A
Because I've fallen in the flame
Bm
If you think I'm all that you want
E A Bm E
The restaurant is booked in your name
[Chorus]
A Bm
I called my baby a piece of shit
E A
She hated it, I hated it
F#m Bm E D
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
A Bm
She let go and I caught it
E A
I hated it, She hated it
F#m Bm E D A Bm A
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
7. Pinball Lez
[Intro]
E G
B D#m A#m E
B D#m A#m E B
[Verse 1]
D#m A#m
Pinball Lez is shacked up
E B F# B
With Nan's girlfriend
D#m A#m
Reconditioning pinballs
E B
He farms them out again
[Verse 2]
D#m A#m
The word on the street is suggesting
E B F# B
Things aren't so great
D#m A#m
At the St. Lucia residence
E B
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
E
And no-one seems to be
G B
Answering the phone
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
B
The pinballs need you
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
B
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
B
The cops will understand everything
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A A#m B D#m A#m E B
The casinos are rigged to beat you
D#m A#m E B
[Verse 3]
D#m A#m
Lez has given up
E B
He's moving out to Stanthorpe
D#m A#m
Swidden agriculture
E B
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
E G E
Out in the fields today
G
No-one seems to be
B
Answering the phone
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
B
The pinballs need you
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
B
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
B
The cops will understand everything
E F#
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A A#m B D#m A#m E B
The casinos are rigged to beat you
8. Sons And Daughters
[Verse 1]
D A C G
If I could read their writing I would let you know
D A C G
All about their records and the places they go
A C G Bm
I don't get it but I see it in the sun
C G D A E
And the aerosols they use are never captured by security
[Verse 2]
D A C G
Cameras talking and the lenses are walking
D A C G
All of it's funky just to let me know
[Chorus]
A
I don't get it (I don't get it)
C
But I get it (I don't get it)
G B
From the sons and daughters
C G D A E
We spent all of our money on groceries from Seessel's
[Bridge]
F C F
I fell asleep in the morning light
C F
I fell asleep in the very first light
C F
And as the day had just begun
Dm F C
With you lying in the sun
F C F
Lying in the very last sun
F C F
Lying in the sun
C F
Lying in the very last sun
[Verse 3]
D A C G
If I could read their writing I would let you know
D A C G
Progress from colouring to outlining to piecing on their own
A C G B
I like you because you are just the right height
D C
If I could read their writing I would let you know
9. Nice Bird
[Intro]
G B A#
G B A#
[Verse 1]
G B A#
I've got a nice bird
G B A#
I've got a nice bird
Am Em Am Em
I understand that a bird in my hand
C B
Is worth two in the bush
Am Em Am Em C
Understand that the bird is the word that I use
B A#
To describe you
[Chorus]
G B A#
I've got a nice bird
G B A#
I've got a nice bird
G B A#
I've got a nice bird
[Verse 2]
Am Em Am Em
This world divides into people who think
C B
There are two kinds of folks and those who don't
Am Em Am Em
Trey's got the feathers and a 12-gauge shotgun
C B G F X 2
Volkswagens from the Reich!
[Chorus]
G B A#
I've got a nice bird
G B A#
I've got a nice bird
[Bridge]
Dm G C
There's a stretch of road out past The Gap
F A#
Where they're taking some snaps, stick to the music champ
The words are important
E7 G F X 4
The words are important!
[Chorus]
G Bm A#
I've got a nice bird
G Bm A#
I've got a nice bird X 5
[Outro]
A A
N.I.C.E.B.I.R.D. bird
10. No Rock And Roll Record
[Verse 1]
D A D A
No rock'n'roll singer is going to sing my song
F#m E G
Same stupid words going over and over
D A D A
The drop-out turned out trashing my sound
F#m E G
Rub the lines off the back of my hands
[Chorus]
A
I cut my teeth on the end of my bed
E
I never ever sang in a high school band
A E F#m
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
G
By now
[Verse 2]
D A D A
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
F#m E G
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, CD
D A D A
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
F#m E G
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
[Chorus]
A
The radio could have been kinder to me
E
But I never looked good on a colour TV
A E F#m
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
G
By now
D A D A F#m E G x2
[Bridge]
C E F G
I've got a message from the other side
C E F
It came to me last night in semaphore
G A
But I can't play the minor chords
[Verse 3]
D A D A
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
F#m E G
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, CD
D A D A
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
F#m E G
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
11. Sinatra Theory
[Verse 1]
D Bm
I walk these corridors
D Bm
Don't think I'm ever coming home
D Bm
One time to be your friend
D Bm
I killed off everything you owned
Em D Bm
Losing the money was the hardest thing to own
[Chorus]
D Bm
I'm coming home
[Verse 2]
D Bm
I had some money once
D Bm
I hear I spent it all on you
D Bm
One time your Christmas lights
D Bm
I threw my body on the lawn
Em D Bm
I'm smashing bugs with a ping-pong bat at home
[Chorus]
D Bm
I'm coming home
D Bm
My skeleton falls down
D Bm
I'm coming home
[Bridge]
A# F
Community radio station rock gets played in the parking lots
C Gm
These speakers amplify the tones
[Chorus]
D Bm
I'm coming home
D Bm
My skeleton falls down
D Bm D
I walk these corridors
12. Schtum
[Verse 1]
F
I'm remaining schtum
I'm not going to speak out any more
Gm F
I'm gonna be quiet, so quiet
Gm Dm
Almost silent like the flow
[Verse 2]
F
Now that you are missing
I've called the searching off
Gm
I'll blame it on the light
F
And I'm so tired
Gm Dm
We'll resume it at dawn
[Chorus]
Gm A#m
Floating in the water
A# F
The floor is far below
[Verse 3]
Gm
I'm heading for Japan
F
If I don't get snagged first
Gm Dm
As the water overflows
[Break]
F Gm F Gm Dm
Whistling bit
[Chorus]
Gm A#m
Floating in the water
A# F
The floor is far below
[verse 4]
Gm
I'm heading for Japan
F
If I don't get snagged first
Gm Dm F
As the water overflows
13. The Truth About Drugs
[Verse 1]
C G
All the junkies are piling in their cars
D Dm
And the kids can stay home from school
C G
Got the fire sticks, got the guns
F G F
We got some CDs and and some tapes to tape them on
[Chorus]
C G F
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
C G F
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
C G
And they was travelling from A to B (A to B)
Am G C
And I love only you
[Verse 2]
C G C G
We gotta stop at a chemist I know
F G Em Am
And that's the last of the car lighter
C G C G
I got a headache and my headache won't go
F G E A#
Were only eating places truck drivers go
[Chorus]
C G F
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
C G F
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
C G
And they was travelling from A to B (A to B)
Am G C
And I love only you
[Outro]
C G Am G
This is called the truth about drugs
C G Am G
(This is called the truth about drugs)
C G Am G
This is called the truth about drugs
C G Am G F
(This is called the truth about drugs)
14. Music Is Crap
[Verse 1]
C G F C
Red eyes blue gaze, you look like hell today
G F C
Step out on parade, you do it so well
G F C
Your favourite shirt, those shoes that you bought in Perth
G F C
Dumb Hair smart slacks, that's rock apparel
[Chorus]
F
(Ahhhhhh)
C F C F
Music is crap aliens told me so
C F C F
Better than that, were gonna let you know
C F C F
Just listen up, become a receiver
C F G
And then space out, when you're a believer
F
That's what religion's for
C F C F
Music is crap
[Verse 2]
C G F C
Think of your friends, then put one on the door
G F C
Everythings free, but were still poor
F C
Don't matter what you like, aliens hate it
F G
Rock, pop, metal, shop, they just berate it
F
And I've found
G F
They dig the silence, hate the sound
G F
So pick up your telescopes, put your guitars down
G
That's what I've found..
[Chorus]
C F C F
Music is crap aliens told me so
C F C F
Better than that, were gonna let you know
C F C F
Just listen up, become a receiver
C F G
And then space out, when you're a believer
F
That's what religion's for
C F C F
Music is crap
C F C F
Music is crap
C F C F
Music is crap
C F C F
Music is crap
15. The Drum
[Verse 1]
D A D A
After the show yeah we have to go
C# F#
You don't like it, I don't like it
D A D A
Write me a note about all of the folks
C# F# A
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
B C G
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
C# G#
'Cos it seems out of place
E B C#
Won't you be so kind to find it?
C G
I had my amp there as well
C# G#
But I think that it fell
E B C#
Left to the stage right behind it
We won't find it
[Verse 2]
D A D A
Just like the blow that went right to your head
C# F#
You don't show it. You don't show it
D A D A
Now off to the station we had to go
C# G#
You don't like it, no you don't like it
[Chorus]
B C G
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
C# G#
'Cos it seems out of place
E B C#
Won't you be so kind to find it?
C G
I had my amp there as well
C# G#
But I think that it fell
E B C#
Left to the stage right behind it
C#
We won't find it
C#
I don't like it
[Bridge]
F# G
Guitar and case, yeah!
B D F#
(Woah!)
G
Not in its place, yaaargh!
B D F#
(Woah!)
G
My amp's there as well!
B D F#
(Woah!)
G
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
B D
(Woah!)
[Verse 3]
D A D A
After the show yeah we have to go
C# F#
You don't like it, I don't like it
D A D A
Write me a note about all of the folks
C# F# A
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
B C G
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
C# G#
'Cos it seems out of place
E B C#
Won't you be so kind to find it?
C G
I had my amp there as well
C# G#
But I think that it fell
E B C#
Left to the stage right behind it
C#
We won't find it
C#
No you don't like it, like it, like it
[Outro]
F# G
Guitar and case, yeah!
B D F#
(Woah!)
G
Not in its place, yaaargh!
B D F#
(Woah!)
G
My amp's there as well!
B D F#
(Woah!)
G
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
B D
(Woah!)
B A
Off the stage, yeah
B D
Off the stage, yeah
B A
Off the stage, yeah
B F#
16. Eight Years Of Rock And Roll Has Completley Destroyed My Memory
[Verse 1]
A E F#m D
I've got no memories
C#m A
Oooh that's what I need
E F#m D
I've got no past or yesterdays
C#m Bm
Memories is what I need
C#m A E D E
But these memories are made for speed
[Verse 2]
A E F#m D
I've forgot this morning
C#m A
Forgot this evening too
E F#m D
I'll have to beg your pardon
C#m Bm
Your name starts with a Q
C#m A E D
Oh no it's something I've missed
E A D A
My memory's missed
[Bridge]
D A G
I understand about your tan
D A G
So let me sleep tonight
D
If there's a song in my throat
A G
Guess it's something I ate
D A G
I guess must be throwing up
C Am
So kiss me
C Am
And make me believe
C Am
In ideologies
C Am
And the streets of sesame
A
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh wah!
Dm Am Bm G F#m D
[Verse 3]
A E F#m D
I've got a good idea
C#m A
To write my memories down
E F#m D
Then I'll have nothing to fear
C#m Bm
When mine lets me down
C#m C#
I'll find names and addresses on paper on the ground
D A
I'm good with faces, no good with names
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