Verse
A#m C#
I want to brush my hair some more
G# F#
But I’m scared it might fall out
A#m C#
I want to paint my face again
G# F#
But I’m scared that they might shout
A#m C#
I dream of being pretty
G# F#
More than I do of thriving
A#m C#
And dream of being remembered
G# F#
More than I do surviving
A#m C#
I cross and cross and cross these trails
G# F#
And cross re-cross old paths
A#m C#
Retread through all the footsteps
G# F#
Where once we were so sad
A#m C#
It’s nice to revisit
G# F#
It's nice to replant
A#m C#
But do I garden my trauma
G# F# A#m C# G# F#
Like the spineless sycophant
A#m C#
In busy rooms all there for me
G# F#
I still feel misunderstood
A#m
But it’s ungrateful brain
C# G# F#
And chosen pain, to say I feel unloved
A#m
I might be often drama king
C# G# F#
I may mope and pout and grumble
A#m C#
Even in improving circumstance
G# F#
I still find myself disgruntled
A#m C#
I dig and dig, dig out my brain
G# F#
With primordial soup spoon
A#m C# G# F#
Phantasmagoric memories are slowly detuned
A#m C# G# F#
And endlessly I rewrite all my histories of you
A#m C# G# F#
Unstable causality, breathes into tapestries untrue
A#m C# G# F#
And soon unsure the guilt I feel just comes from my disposition
A#m C# G# F#
If these proppian dichotomies are just my own rendition
A#m C# G# F#
Some days I feel the hero, other days I feel the villain
A#m C# G# F# A# C# G# F#
Perhaps we both are mutually instigator and the victim
A#m
I want to think so fickle
A# G# F#
And live just aesthetic life
A#m
Because this self-analysis
G# F#
It cuts through me like a knife
A#m C#
It slices so mathematically
G# F#
Into these perfect halves
A#m C#m
And the binary of thinking
G# F#
Can tear my head apart