Verse
D#m F#
I want to brush my hair some more
C# B
But I’m scared it might fall out
D#m F#
I want to paint my face again
C# B
But I’m scared that they might shout
D#m F#
I dream of being pretty
C# B
More than I do of thriving
D#m F#
And dream of being remembered
C# B
More than I do surviving
D#m F#
I cross and cross and cross these trails
C# B
And cross re-cross old paths
D#m F#
Retread through all the footsteps
C# B
Where once we were so sad
D#m F#
It’s nice to revisit
C# B
It's nice to replant
D#m F#
But do I garden my trauma
C# B D#m F# C# B
Like the spineless sycophant
D#m F#
In busy rooms all there for me
C# B
I still feel misunderstood
D#m
But it’s ungrateful brain
F# C# B
And chosen pain, to say I feel unloved
D#m
I might be often drama king
F# C# B
I may mope and pout and grumble
D#m F#
Even in improving circumstance
C# B
I still find myself disgruntled
D#m F#
I dig and dig, dig out my brain
C# B
With primordial soup spoon
D#m F# C# B
Phantasmagoric memories are slowly detuned
D#m F# C# B
And endlessly I rewrite all my histories of you
D#m F# C# B
Unstable causality, breathes into tapestries untrue
D#m F# C# B
And soon unsure the guilt I feel just comes from my disposition
D#m F# C# B
If these proppian dichotomies are just my own rendition
D#m F# C# B
Some days I feel the hero, other days I feel the villain
D#m F# C# B D# F# C# B
Perhaps we both are mutually instigator and the victim
D#m
I want to think so fickle
D# C# B
And live just aesthetic life
D#m
Because this self-analysis
C# B
It cuts through me like a knife
D#m F#
It slices so mathematically
C# B
Into these perfect halves
D#m F#m
And the binary of thinking
C# B
Can tear my head apart