Verse
Cm D#
I want to brush my hair some more
A# G#
But I’m scared it might fall out
Cm D#
I want to paint my face again
A# G#
But I’m scared that they might shout
Cm D#
I dream of being pretty
A# G#
More than I do of thriving
Cm D#
And dream of being remembered
A# G#
More than I do surviving
Cm D#
I cross and cross and cross these trails
A# G#
And cross re-cross old paths
Cm D#
Retread through all the footsteps
A# G#
Where once we were so sad
Cm D#
It’s nice to revisit
A# G#
It's nice to replant
Cm D#
But do I garden my trauma
A# G# Cm D# A# G#
Like the spineless sycophant
Cm D#
In busy rooms all there for me
A# G#
I still feel misunderstood
Cm
But it’s ungrateful brain
D# A# G#
And chosen pain, to say I feel unloved
Cm
I might be often drama king
D# A# G#
I may mope and pout and grumble
Cm D#
Even in improving circumstance
A# G#
I still find myself disgruntled
Cm D#
I dig and dig, dig out my brain
A# G#
With primordial soup spoon
Cm D# A# G#
Phantasmagoric memories are slowly detuned
Cm D# A# G#
And endlessly I rewrite all my histories of you
Cm D# A# G#
Unstable causality, breathes into tapestries untrue
Cm D# A# G#
And soon unsure the guilt I feel just comes from my disposition
Cm D# A# G#
If these proppian dichotomies are just my own rendition
Cm D# A# G#
Some days I feel the hero, other days I feel the villain
Cm D# A# G# C D# A# G#
Perhaps we both are mutually instigator and the victim
Cm
I want to think so fickle
C A# G#
And live just aesthetic life
Cm
Because this self-analysis
A# G#
It cuts through me like a knife
Cm D#
It slices so mathematically
A# G#
Into these perfect halves
Cm D#m
And the binary of thinking
A# G#
Can tear my head apart