Intro
F# | A#m D#m | G#m | C#
[Verse 1]
F#
Silver teeth and the cockiness of James Dean
A#m D#m
Body like a cantaloupe, head like a baked bean
G#m
No gun but he gets pretty irate
C#
So if you run then you'd better learn to fly mate
F#
He spends his mornings tackling evaders
A#m D#m
And daydreaming that they issued him a taser
G#m
And if they did, all the money he could save 'em
C#
With concession cards and bodies on the pavement
F#
And you might joke he takes his
A#m D#m
job too seriously. But you don't
G#m
know all the things he's seen. There's a lot of
C#
gum under the seats (and people's feet)
F#
And you might joke he takes his
A#m D#m
job too seriously. But you don't
G#m
know all the things he's seen. There's a lot of
C#
punks who ride for free (and retirees)
[Pre-Chorus]
F#
But in high school, he took two
A#m D#m
lessons in Jiu Jitsu
G#m C#
And he was pretty good at it... I guess
[Chorus]
D#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
C#
Go and throw your life away
G#m
Don't you don't you run from him
A#m
Son cause he'll fuck up your
D#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
C#
Waste his time taking your name
G#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
A#m
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Verse 2]
F#
This dude's like Paul Blart: Mall Cop
A#m D#m
If he lost his segway and had a small...
G#m
Stop what you're doing if you see him with his badge on
C#
Though Jane at the office spelt his name wrong
F#
He doesn't have a baton, doesn't have a mad
A#m D#m
dog. Doesn't know a lot of stuff but he throws a fat
G#m
punch. His mum packs his lunch, taught him wrong from right
C#
Saving the world one ticket at a time
F#
And you might joke he takes his
A#m D#m
job too seriously. But you don't
G#m
know all the things he's seen. Sometimes
C#
children ride for cheap (or talk loudly)
F#
And you might joke he takes his
A#m D#m
job too seriously. But you don't
G#m
know all the things he's seen. There's a lot
C#
bums up on these seats (and sometimes feet)
[Pre-Chorus]
F# A#m D#m
But in high school, he was one of the members
G#m
in the runner-up 4 by 100 meter relay team.
C#
He still polishes his medal
[Chorus]
D#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
C#
Go and throw your life away
G#m
Don't you don't you run from him
A#m
Son cause he'll fuck up your
D#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
C#
Waste his time taking your name
G#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
A#m
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Bridge]
F# D#m G#m C#
They wouldn't let him in the army (oh no-o-o-o-o)
F# D#m G#m C#
The wouldn't let him be a sergeant (oh no-o-o-o-o)
F# D#m G#m C#
C# fireman was far too hard a thing for him to be
F# D#m G#m C#
He'd write parking tickets, but he doesn't like to read
[Pre-Chorus]
F# A#m D#m
But in high school, he lost a jellybean count
G#m C#
And the winner didn't share them. Maybe that's what this all stems from
[Chorus]
D#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
C#
Go and throw your life away
G#m
Don't you don't you run from him
A#m
Son cause he'll fuck up your
D#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
C#
Waste his time taking your name
G#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
A#m
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Chorus]
D#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
C#
Go and throw your life away
G#m
Don't you don't you run from him
A#m
Son cause he'll fuck up your
D#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
C#
Waste his time taking your name
G#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
A#m
He's got two feet and half a brain
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