Intro
C# | Fm A#m | D#m | G#
[Verse 1]
C#
Silver teeth and the cockiness of James Dean
Fm A#m
Body like a cantaloupe, head like a baked bean
D#m
No gun but he gets pretty irate
G#
So if you run then you'd better learn to fly mate
C#
He spends his mornings tackling evaders
Fm A#m
And daydreaming that they issued him a taser
D#m
And if they did, all the money he could save 'em
G#
With concession cards and bodies on the pavement
C#
And you might joke he takes his
Fm A#m
job too seriously. But you don't
D#m
know all the things he's seen. There's a lot of
G#
gum under the seats (and people's feet)
C#
And you might joke he takes his
Fm A#m
job too seriously. But you don't
D#m
know all the things he's seen. There's a lot of
G#
punks who ride for free (and retirees)
[Pre-Chorus]
C#
But in high school, he took two
Fm A#m
lessons in Jiu Jitsu
D#m G#
And he was pretty good at it... I guess
[Chorus]
A#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
G#
Go and throw your life away
D#m
Don't you don't you run from him
Fm
Son cause he'll fuck up your
A#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
G#
Waste his time taking your name
D#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
Fm
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Verse 2]
C#
This dude's like Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Fm A#m
If he lost his segway and had a small...
D#m
Stop what you're doing if you see him with his badge on
G#
Though Jane at the office spelt his name wrong
C#
He doesn't have a baton, doesn't have a mad
Fm A#m
dog. Doesn't know a lot of stuff but he throws a fat
D#m
punch. His mum packs his lunch, taught him wrong from right
G#
Saving the world one ticket at a time
C#
And you might joke he takes his
Fm A#m
job too seriously. But you don't
D#m
know all the things he's seen. Sometimes
G#
children ride for cheap (or talk loudly)
C#
And you might joke he takes his
Fm A#m
job too seriously. But you don't
D#m
know all the things he's seen. There's a lot
G#
bums up on these seats (and sometimes feet)
[Pre-Chorus]
C# Fm A#m
But in high school, he was one of the members
D#m
in the runner-up 4 by 100 meter relay team.
G#
He still polishes his medal
[Chorus]
A#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
G#
Go and throw your life away
D#m
Don't you don't you run from him
Fm
Son cause he'll fuck up your
A#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
G#
Waste his time taking your name
D#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
Fm
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Bridge]
C# A#m D#m G#
They wouldn't let him in the army (oh no-o-o-o-o)
C# A#m D#m G#
The wouldn't let him be a sergeant (oh no-o-o-o-o)
C# A#m D#m G#
G# fireman was far too hard a thing for him to be
C# A#m D#m G#
He'd write parking tickets, but he doesn't like to read
[Pre-Chorus]
C# Fm A#m
But in high school, he lost a jellybean count
D#m G#
And the winner didn't share them. Maybe that's what this all stems from
[Chorus]
A#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
G#
Go and throw your life away
D#m
Don't you don't you run from him
Fm
Son cause he'll fuck up your
A#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
G#
Waste his time taking your name
D#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
Fm
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Chorus]
A#m7
Hey, hey please don't go and
G#
Go and throw your life away
D#m
Don't you don't you run from him
Fm
Son cause he'll fuck up your
A#m7
Day, No he's not gonna
G#
Waste his time taking your name
D#m
Trust me there'll be no escape
Fm
He's got two feet and half a brain
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