B F#
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
G#m E
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
B F#
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
G#m E
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
B F#
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
G#m E
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
B F#
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
G#m E
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
B F#
Feminist women love Eminem
G#m
chigga chigga chigga
E
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
B F#
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
G#m E
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
B F#
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
G#m E
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
B F# G#m
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
E
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
B F#
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
G#m E
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
B F#
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
G#m E
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
B F#
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
G#m
By the time they hit fourth grade
E
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
B F# G#m
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
E
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
B F#
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
G#m E
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
B F#
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
G#m E
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
B F#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
G#m E
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
B F#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
G#m E
please stand up, please stand up?
B F#
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
G#m E
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
B F#
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
G#m E
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
B F#
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
G#m E
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
B F#
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
G#m E
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
B F#
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
G#m E
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
B F#
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
G#m E
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
B F#
I should download her audio on MP3
G#m E
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
B F# G#m
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
E
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
B F#
And there's a million of us just like me
G#m E
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
B F#
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
G#m E
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
B F#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
G#m E
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
B F#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
G#m E
please stand up, please stand up?
B F#
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
G#m E
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
B F#
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
G#m E
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
B F#
I just get on the mic and spit it
G#m E
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
B F#
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
G#m E
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
B F#
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
G#m E
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
B F#
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
G#m E
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
B F#
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
G#m E
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
B F#
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
G#m
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
E
with his windows down and his system up
B F#
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
G#m E
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
B F#
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
G#m E
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Outro]
B F#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
G#m E
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
B F#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
G#m E
please stand up, please stand up?
B F#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
G#m E
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
B F#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
G#m E
please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up