C# G#
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
A#m F#
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
C# G#
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
A#m F#
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
C# G#
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
A#m F#
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
C# G#
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
A#m F#
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
C# G#
Feminist women love Eminem
A#m
chigga chigga chigga
F#
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
C# G#
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
A#m F#
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
C# G#
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
A#m F#
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
C# G# A#m
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
F#
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
C# G#
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
A#m F#
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
C# G#
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
A#m F#
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
C# G#
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
A#m
By the time they hit fourth grade
F#
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
C# G# A#m
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
F#
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
C# G#
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
A#m F#
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
C# G#
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
A#m F#
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
C# G#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
A#m F#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C# G#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
A#m F#
please stand up, please stand up?
C# G#
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
A#m F#
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
C# G#
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
A#m F#
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
C# G#
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
A#m F#
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
C# G#
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
A#m F#
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
C# G#
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
A#m F#
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
C# G#
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
A#m F#
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
C# G#
I should download her audio on MP3
A#m F#
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
C# G# A#m
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
F#
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
C# G#
And there's a million of us just like me
A#m F#
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
C# G#
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
A#m F#
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
C# G#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
A#m F#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C# G#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
A#m F#
please stand up, please stand up?
C# G#
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
A#m F#
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
C# G#
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
A#m F#
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
C# G#
I just get on the mic and spit it
A#m F#
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
C# G#
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
A#m F#
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
C# G#
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
A#m F#
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
C# G#
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
A#m F#
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
C# G#
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
A#m F#
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
C# G#
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
A#m
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
F#
with his windows down and his system up
C# G#
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
A#m F#
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
C# G#
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
A#m F#
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Outro]
C# G#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
A#m F#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C# G#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
A#m F#
please stand up, please stand up?
C# G#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
A#m F#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C# G#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
A#m F#
please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up