F C
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Dm A#
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
F C
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
Dm A#
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
F C
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
Dm A#
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
F C
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dm A#
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
F C
Feminist women love Eminem
Dm
chigga chigga chigga
A#
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
F C
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
Dm A#
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
F C
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
Dm A#
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
F C Dm
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
A#
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
F C
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
Dm A#
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
F C
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
Dm A#
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
F C
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
Dm
By the time they hit fourth grade
A#
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
F C Dm
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
A#
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
F C
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Dm A#
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
F C
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Dm A#
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
F C
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Dm A#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
F C
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Dm A#
please stand up, please stand up?
F C
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Dm A#
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
F C
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Dm A#
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
F C
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Dm A#
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
F C
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Dm A#
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
F C
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
Dm A#
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
F C
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
Dm A#
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
F C
I should download her audio on MP3
Dm A#
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
F C Dm
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
A#
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
F C
And there's a million of us just like me
Dm A#
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
F C
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
Dm A#
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
F C
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Dm A#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
F C
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Dm A#
please stand up, please stand up?
F C
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Dm A#
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
F C
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
Dm A#
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
F C
I just get on the mic and spit it
Dm A#
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
F C
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Dm A#
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
F C
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
Dm A#
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
F C
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
Dm A#
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
F C
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
Dm A#
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
F C
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Dm
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
A#
with his windows down and his system up
F C
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
Dm A#
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
F C
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
Dm A#
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Outro]
F C
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Dm A#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
F C
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Dm A#
please stand up, please stand up?
F C
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Dm A#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
F C
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Dm A#
please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
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