D# A#
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Cm G#
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
D# A#
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
Cm G#
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
D# A#
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
Cm G#
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
D# A#
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Cm G#
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
D# A#
Feminist women love Eminem
Cm
chigga chigga chigga
G#
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
D# A#
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
Cm G#
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
D# A#
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
Cm G#
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
D# A# Cm
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
G#
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
D# A#
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
Cm G#
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
D# A#
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
Cm G#
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
D# A#
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
Cm
By the time they hit fourth grade
G#
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
D# A# Cm
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
G#
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
D# A#
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Cm G#
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
D# A#
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Cm G#
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
D# A#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Cm G#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
D# A#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Cm G#
please stand up, please stand up?
D# A#
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Cm G#
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
D# A#
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Cm G#
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
D# A#
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Cm G#
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
D# A#
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Cm G#
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
D# A#
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
Cm G#
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
D# A#
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
Cm G#
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
D# A#
I should download her audio on MP3
Cm G#
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
D# A# Cm
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
G#
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
D# A#
And there's a million of us just like me
Cm G#
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
D# A#
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
Cm G#
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
D# A#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Cm G#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
D# A#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Cm G#
please stand up, please stand up?
D# A#
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Cm G#
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
D# A#
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
Cm G#
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
D# A#
I just get on the mic and spit it
Cm G#
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
D# A#
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Cm G#
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
D# A#
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
Cm G#
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
D# A#
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
Cm G#
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
D# A#
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
Cm G#
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
D# A#
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Cm
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
G#
with his windows down and his system up
D# A#
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
Cm G#
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
D# A#
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
Cm G#
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Outro]
D# A#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Cm G#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
D# A#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Cm G#
please stand up, please stand up?
D# A#
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Cm G#
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
D# A#
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Cm G#
please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up