A E
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
F#m D
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
A E
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
F#m D
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
A E
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
F#m D
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
A E
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
F#m D
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
A E
Feminist women love Eminem
F#m
chigga chigga chigga
D
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
A E
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
F#m D
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
A E
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
F#m D
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
A E F#m
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
D
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
A E
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
F#m D
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
A E
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
F#m D
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
A E
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
F#m
By the time they hit fourth grade
D
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
A E F#m
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
D
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
A E
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
F#m D
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
A E
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
F#m D
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
A E
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
F#m D
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
A E
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
F#m D
please stand up, please stand up?
A E
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
F#m D
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
A E
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
F#m D
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
A E
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
F#m D
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
A E
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
F#m D
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
A E
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
F#m D
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
A E
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
F#m D
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
A E
I should download her audio on MP3
F#m D
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
A E F#m
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
D
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
A E
And there's a million of us just like me
F#m D
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
A E
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
F#m D
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
A E
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
F#m D
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
A E
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
F#m D
please stand up, please stand up?
A E
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
F#m D
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
A E
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
F#m D
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
A E
I just get on the mic and spit it
F#m D
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
A E
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
F#m D
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
A E
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
F#m D
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
A E
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
F#m D
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
A E
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
F#m D
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
A E
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
F#m
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
D
with his windows down and his system up
A E
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
F#m D
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
A E
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
F#m D
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Outro]
A E
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
F#m D
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
A E
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
F#m D
please stand up, please stand up?
A E
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
F#m D
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
A E
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
F#m D
please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
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