Intro
G#, F
Fm, F
C F
Such was the expression of the child
Am
As he bounced across my windscreen
F
And off the other side.
C
That I got the strong impression
F Am
For a second that he wasn't so much angry
F
As incredibly surprised.
F G
As I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,
F G
I turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,
C E F
Do you think we should reschedule the test?
C E F
'Cause I'm starting now to think it might be best.
Am
Either way, I'm pretty sure
F
You could have taught me clutch control
G C
In a playground that was emptier than this.
G#, F
Fm, F
C F
Such was the blind panic of the boy scouts
Am
As I backed into the duck pond
F
In the middle of the green.
C
That it became a little clearer
F Am
Why the mirror said that objects featured in it
F
Might be closer than they seem.
F G
As I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass
F G
I smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,
C E F
Would a fifty maybe make this go away?
C E F
'Cause I really don't have time for this today.
Am
Besides which how am I supposed to learn to drive
F
When everywhere I turn there's
G C
Five or six small children getting in the way.
Am
F
I would later learn that was the moment
D Am
The SWAT team was mobilised
F
And that the car chase that followed
D Am
Was globally televised.
In fact I'm told that they
F D Am
Still use the footage for police training video
F
And though I've not seen it personally
D C
I've learned that it basically shows
(From here to the end just repeat the intro pattern G#, C#, Fm, C#)
F Am
Me and my instructor tearing down the autobahn
F C
Doing ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on
F Am
Ploughing recklessly through traffic, cones and trees.
F C
I am Thelma to his terrified Louise
F Am
And all the while I got him screaming in my head
F C
That I should probably change up out of second gear,
F Am
Check my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten
F C
And maybe give some thought to turning myself in.
But in spite of everything,
F Am
We made it to the border
F
Though the last two miles was in reverse
C
Up the hard shoulder.
That old car was dead,
F Am
But somehow we'd survived.
We climbed out of the wreck
F C
And solemnly high-fived.
So that's how me and my instructor
Moved to Switzerland.
Opened up a little cafe
In the hinterland.
And though I never got my licence, in the end,
I found something so much better
C# brand new, bestest friend.
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