Intro
G#, D#
Fm, D#
A# D#
Such was the expression of the child
Gm
As he bounced across my windscreen
D#
And off the other side.
A#
That I got the strong impression
D# Gm
For a second that he wasn't so much angry
D#
As incredibly surprised.
D# F
As I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,
D# F
I turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,
A# D D#
Do you think we should reschedule the test?
A# D D#
'Cause I'm starting now to think it might be best.
Gm
Either way, I'm pretty sure
D#
You could have taught me clutch control
F A#
In a playground that was emptier than this.
G#, D#
Fm, D#
A# D#
Such was the blind panic of the boy scouts
Gm
As I backed into the duck pond
D#
In the middle of the green.
A#
That it became a little clearer
D# Gm
Why the mirror said that objects featured in it
D#
Might be closer than they seem.
D# F
As I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass
D# F
I smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,
A# D D#
Would a fifty maybe make this go away?
A# D D#
'Cause I really don't have time for this today.
Gm
Besides which how am I supposed to learn to drive
D#
When everywhere I turn there's
F A#
Five or six small children getting in the way.
Gm
D#
I would later learn that was the moment
C Gm
The SWAT team was mobilised
D#
And that the car chase that followed
C Gm
Was globally televised.
In fact I'm told that they
D# C Gm
Still use the footage for police training video
D#
And though I've not seen it personally
C A#
I've learned that it basically shows
(From here to the end just repeat the intro pattern G#, C#, Fm, C#)
D# Gm
Me and my instructor tearing down the autobahn
D# A#
Doing ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on
D# Gm
Ploughing recklessly through traffic, cones and trees.
D# A#
I am Thelma to his terrified Louise
D# Gm
And all the while I got him screaming in my head
D# A#
That I should probably change up out of second gear,
D# Gm
Check my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten
D# A#
And maybe give some thought to turning myself in.
But in spite of everything,
D# Gm
We made it to the border
D#
Though the last two miles was in reverse
A#
Up the hard shoulder.
That old car was dead,
D# Gm
But somehow we'd survived.
We climbed out of the wreck
D# A#
And solemnly high-fived.
So that's how me and my instructor
Moved to Switzerland.
Opened up a little cafe
In the hinterland.
And though I never got my licence, in the end,
I found something so much better
B brand new, bestest friend.
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