Intro
G#, A#
Fm, A#
F A#
Such was the expression of the child
Dm
As he bounced across my windscreen
A#
And off the other side.
F
That I got the strong impression
A# Dm
For a second that he wasn't so much angry
A#
As incredibly surprised.
A# C
As I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,
A# C
I turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,
F A A#
Do you think we should reschedule the test?
F A A#
'Cause I'm starting now to think it might be best.
Dm
Either way, I'm pretty sure
A#
You could have taught me clutch control
C F
In a playground that was emptier than this.
G#, A#
Fm, A#
F A#
Such was the blind panic of the boy scouts
Dm
As I backed into the duck pond
A#
In the middle of the green.
F
That it became a little clearer
A# Dm
Why the mirror said that objects featured in it
A#
Might be closer than they seem.
A# C
As I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass
A# C
I smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,
F A A#
Would a fifty maybe make this go away?
F A A#
'Cause I really don't have time for this today.
Dm
Besides which how am I supposed to learn to drive
A#
When everywhere I turn there's
C F
Five or six small children getting in the way.
Dm
A#
I would later learn that was the moment
G Dm
The SWAT team was mobilised
A#
And that the car chase that followed
G Dm
Was globally televised.
In fact I'm told that they
A# G Dm
Still use the footage for police training video
A#
And though I've not seen it personally
G F
I've learned that it basically shows
(From here to the end just repeat the intro pattern G#, C#, Fm, C#)
A# Dm
Me and my instructor tearing down the autobahn
A# F
Doing ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on
A# Dm
Ploughing recklessly through traffic, cones and trees.
A# F
I am Thelma to his terrified Louise
A# Dm
And all the while I got him screaming in my head
A# F
That I should probably change up out of second gear,
A# Dm
Check my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten
A# F
And maybe give some thought to turning myself in.
But in spite of everything,
A# Dm
We made it to the border
A#
Though the last two miles was in reverse
F
Up the hard shoulder.
That old car was dead,
A# Dm
But somehow we'd survived.
We climbed out of the wreck
A# F
And solemnly high-fived.
So that's how me and my instructor
Moved to Switzerland.
Opened up a little cafe
In the hinterland.
And though I never got my licence, in the end,
I found something so much better
F# brand new, bestest friend.
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