Intro
G#, G#
Fm, G#
D# G#
Such was the expression of the child
Cm
As he bounced across my windscreen
G#
And off the other side.
D#
That I got the strong impression
G# Cm
For a second that he wasn't so much angry
G#
As incredibly surprised.
G# A#
As I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,
G# A#
I turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,
D# G G#
Do you think we should reschedule the test?
D# G G#
'Cause I'm starting now to think it might be best.
Cm
Either way, I'm pretty sure
G#
You could have taught me clutch control
A# D#
In a playground that was emptier than this.
G#, G#
Fm, G#
D# G#
Such was the blind panic of the boy scouts
Cm
As I backed into the duck pond
G#
In the middle of the green.
D#
That it became a little clearer
G# Cm
Why the mirror said that objects featured in it
G#
Might be closer than they seem.
G# A#
As I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass
G# A#
I smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,
D# G G#
Would a fifty maybe make this go away?
D# G G#
'Cause I really don't have time for this today.
Cm
Besides which how am I supposed to learn to drive
G#
When everywhere I turn there's
A# D#
Five or six small children getting in the way.
Cm
G#
I would later learn that was the moment
F Cm
The SWAT team was mobilised
G#
And that the car chase that followed
F Cm
Was globally televised.
In fact I'm told that they
G# F Cm
Still use the footage for police training video
G#
And though I've not seen it personally
F D#
I've learned that it basically shows
(From here to the end just repeat the intro pattern G#, C#, Fm, C#)
G# Cm
Me and my instructor tearing down the autobahn
G# D#
Doing ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on
G# Cm
Ploughing recklessly through traffic, cones and trees.
G# D#
I am Thelma to his terrified Louise
G# Cm
And all the while I got him screaming in my head
G# D#
That I should probably change up out of second gear,
G# Cm
Check my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten
G# D#
And maybe give some thought to turning myself in.
But in spite of everything,
G# Cm
We made it to the border
G#
Though the last two miles was in reverse
D#
Up the hard shoulder.
That old car was dead,
G# Cm
But somehow we'd survived.
We climbed out of the wreck
G# D#
And solemnly high-fived.
So that's how me and my instructor
Moved to Switzerland.
Opened up a little cafe
In the hinterland.
And though I never got my licence, in the end,
I found something so much better
E brand new, bestest friend.
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