Verse
G#
He's been roundin' off bolts since the age of fourteen
D#7 G#
Was that a five eighths or a nine sixteenths?
G#
He's got a metric socket that don't quite fit
D#7 G#
Well it'll wiggle just a little but it ain't quite stripped
C#
The safety guard's gone from his grinding machine
G#
He got a stiff paint brush he only kinda got clean
C#
He's the hired man, my neighbor and a cousin in law
G# D#7 G#
He's a jerry riggin' fool, he got the tool for the job
[Chorus]
C#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
G#
C# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
C#
It just don't seem to make much difference
G# D#7 G#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
G#
His corners ain't square and his floor ain't level
D#7 G#
And he's always had trouble with the old tape measure
G#
His doors don't close ‘cause the jamb ain't plumb
D#7 G#
And he's a Goddamn menace with an air nail gun
C#
They love to see him comin' at the lumberyard store
G#
Fixed the leak in his roof with a two by four
C#
Drilled holes in his boards with the wrong kinda bit
G# D#7 G#
And when they don't line up he blames the government
[Chorus]
C#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
G#
C# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
C#
It just don't seem to make much difference
G# D#7 G#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
G#
He got the whole front yard full of fix ‘em up cars
D#7 G#
Three don't run and the rest won't start
G#
Everything's fine with his rebuilt motor
D#7 G#
Except of course for the couple spare parts left over
C#
Baler wire tie downs goin' down the road
G#
On two bald tires and an oversize load
C#
He ain't never read a manual ‘cause that's like cheatin'
G# D#7 G#
He don't mind a little grease on his hands while he's eatin'
[Chorus]
C#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
G#
C# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
C#
It just don't seem to make much difference
G# D#7 G#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment