Verse
F
He's been roundin' off bolts since the age of fourteen
C7 F
Was that a five eighths or a nine sixteenths?
F
He's got a metric socket that don't quite fit
C7 F
Well it'll wiggle just a little but it ain't quite stripped
A#
The safety guard's gone from his grinding machine
F
He got a stiff paint brush he only kinda got clean
A#
He's the hired man, my neighbor and a cousin in law
F C7 F
He's a jerry riggin' fool, he got the tool for the job
[Chorus]
A#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
F
A# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
A#
It just don't seem to make much difference
F C7 F
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
F
His corners ain't square and his floor ain't level
C7 F
And he's always had trouble with the old tape measure
F
His doors don't close ‘cause the jamb ain't plumb
C7 F
And he's a Goddamn menace with an air nail gun
A#
They love to see him comin' at the lumberyard store
F
Fixed the leak in his roof with a two by four
A#
Drilled holes in his boards with the wrong kinda bit
F C7 F
And when they don't line up he blames the government
[Chorus]
A#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
F
A# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
A#
It just don't seem to make much difference
F C7 F
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
F
He got the whole front yard full of fix ‘em up cars
C7 F
Three don't run and the rest won't start
F
Everything's fine with his rebuilt motor
C7 F
Except of course for the couple spare parts left over
A#
Baler wire tie downs goin' down the road
F
On two bald tires and an oversize load
A#
He ain't never read a manual ‘cause that's like cheatin'
F C7 F
He don't mind a little grease on his hands while he's eatin'
[Chorus]
A#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
F
A# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
A#
It just don't seem to make much difference
F C7 F
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment