Verse
C#
He's been roundin' off bolts since the age of fourteen
G#7 C#
Was that a five eighths or a nine sixteenths?
C#
He's got a metric socket that don't quite fit
G#7 C#
Well it'll wiggle just a little but it ain't quite stripped
F#
The safety guard's gone from his grinding machine
C#
He got a stiff paint brush he only kinda got clean
F#
He's the hired man, my neighbor and a cousin in law
C# G#7 C#
He's a jerry riggin' fool, he got the tool for the job
[Chorus]
F#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
C#
F# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
F#
It just don't seem to make much difference
C# G#7 C#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
C#
His corners ain't square and his floor ain't level
G#7 C#
And he's always had trouble with the old tape measure
C#
His doors don't close ‘cause the jamb ain't plumb
G#7 C#
And he's a Goddamn menace with an air nail gun
F#
They love to see him comin' at the lumberyard store
C#
Fixed the leak in his roof with a two by four
F#
Drilled holes in his boards with the wrong kinda bit
C# G#7 C#
And when they don't line up he blames the government
[Chorus]
F#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
C#
F# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
F#
It just don't seem to make much difference
C# G#7 C#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
C#
He got the whole front yard full of fix ‘em up cars
G#7 C#
Three don't run and the rest won't start
C#
Everything's fine with his rebuilt motor
G#7 C#
Except of course for the couple spare parts left over
F#
Baler wire tie downs goin' down the road
C#
On two bald tires and an oversize load
F#
He ain't never read a manual ‘cause that's like cheatin'
C# G#7 C#
He don't mind a little grease on his hands while he's eatin'
[Chorus]
F#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
C#
F# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
F#
It just don't seem to make much difference
C# G#7 C#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment