Verse
D#
He's been roundin' off bolts since the age of fourteen
A#7 D#
Was that a five eighths or a nine sixteenths?
D#
He's got a metric socket that don't quite fit
A#7 D#
Well it'll wiggle just a little but it ain't quite stripped
G#
The safety guard's gone from his grinding machine
D#
He got a stiff paint brush he only kinda got clean
G#
He's the hired man, my neighbor and a cousin in law
D# A#7 D#
He's a jerry riggin' fool, he got the tool for the job
[Chorus]
G#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
D#
G# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
G#
It just don't seem to make much difference
D# A#7 D#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
D#
His corners ain't square and his floor ain't level
A#7 D#
And he's always had trouble with the old tape measure
D#
His doors don't close ‘cause the jamb ain't plumb
A#7 D#
And he's a Goddamn menace with an air nail gun
G#
They love to see him comin' at the lumberyard store
D#
Fixed the leak in his roof with a two by four
G#
Drilled holes in his boards with the wrong kinda bit
D# A#7 D#
And when they don't line up he blames the government
[Chorus]
G#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
D#
G# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
G#
It just don't seem to make much difference
D# A#7 D#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment
[Verse]
D#
He got the whole front yard full of fix ‘em up cars
A#7 D#
Three don't run and the rest won't start
D#
Everything's fine with his rebuilt motor
A#7 D#
Except of course for the couple spare parts left over
G#
Baler wire tie downs goin' down the road
D#
On two bald tires and an oversize load
G#
He ain't never read a manual ‘cause that's like cheatin'
D# A#7 D#
He don't mind a little grease on his hands while he's eatin'
[Chorus]
G#
Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench
D#
G# wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else
G#
It just don't seem to make much difference
D# A#7 D#
I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment